Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Californication

Posted on February 16, 2015 by twitmericks

A woman from south California/ Desiring her intercourse pornier/ Is suing E.L./ Whose ‘Fifty Shades’ Gel/ Did not make her feel any hornier./// http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/09/sex-toy-company-sued-50-shades-of-grey-lubricant-el-james_n_6643902.html A woman from south CaliforniaDesiring her intercourse pornierIs suing E.L.Whose 'Fifty Shades' GelDid not make her … Continue reading →

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#FreedAJStaff

Posted on February 13, 2015 by twitmericks

Two journalists wrongly in jail/ Are finally let out on bail/ Now Egypt must see/ They all must go free/ It’s time to let justice prevail./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-31450919 Two journalists wrongly in jailAre finally let out on bailNow Egypt must seeThey … Continue reading →

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OMG HSBC!

Posted on February 11, 2015 by twitmericks

The chairman of HSBC/ Which, unchecked by HMRC/ Used every occasion/ To push tax evasion,/ Then joined HMG. OMG!/// http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/feb/10/hsbc-files-hmrc-cleared-stephen-green-for-peerage-misconduct-data The chairman of #HSBC Which, unchecked by #HMRCUsed every occasionTo push tax evasion,Then joined HMG. OMG! — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) … Continue reading →

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Designs on His Body

Posted on February 10, 2015 by twitmericks

A killer who was to be wed/ Found out he was being misled./ According to Manson/ His fiancee plans on/ Exploiting his body once dead./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/charles-manson-wedding-off-after-it-emerges-that-girlfriend-afton-elaine-burton-just-wanted-his-corpse-for-display-10034793.html A killer who was to be wedFound out he was being misled.According to MansonHis … Continue reading →

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Screws Screwed

Posted on February 10, 2015 by twitmericks

The screws in a house of correction/ Submitted to sexual subjection/ With warders all gagged/ Handcuffed & debagged/ A breakout evaded detection./// http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/dozens-escape-brazilian-prison-after-two-women-seduce-drug-g#.hrQe77gpg The screws in a house of correctionSubmitted to sexual subjectionWith warders all gaggedHandcuffed & debaggedA breakout evaded … Continue reading →

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Personal Touch

Posted on February 6, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old star of glam rock/ Whose paedo past came as a shock/ We were all unaware/ As he sang ‘Touch me there’/ & pointed direct at his cock. ///http://www.inquisitr.com/1818933/uk-former-glam-rocker-gary-glitter-convicted-of-child-sex-abuse/ There was an old star of glam rockWhose … Continue reading →

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Troll Patrol

Posted on February 5, 2015 by twitmericks

A top social network big hitter/ Admits that his company Twitter/ Is not on the whole/ So good with a troll/ But sucks, and could hardly be shitter. ///http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/feb/05/twitter-ceo-we-suck-dealing-with-trolls-abuse A top social network big hitterAdmits that his company TwitterIs not … Continue reading →

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Chopper Whopper

Posted on February 5, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old NBC anchor/ Whose misrecollection caused rancour./ His under-fire chopper/ Exposed as a whopper,/ He ended up looking a wanker./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31143744 There was an old NBC anchorWhose misrecollection caused rancour.His under-fire chopperExposed as a whopper,He ended up … Continue reading →

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Cetacean Temptation

Posted on February 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A man who had dolphin relations/ Insists he was groomed by cetaceans/ Especially Dolly/ Who led him to folly/ With rubbing & other flirtations./// ‘I had an affair with a dolphin for a year after it seduced me’ A man … Continue reading →

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Taking Liberties

Posted on February 2, 2015 by twitmericks

The overdue freeing of Peter/ Can only be made even sweeter/ If fellows of Greste/ Are not left to fester/ Tweet #FreeAJStaff, every tweeter./// http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/02/peter-greste-won-give-colleagues-free-150202052338661.html The overdue freeing of PeterCan only be made even sweeterIf fellows of GresteAre not left … Continue reading →

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