Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Hole in the Floor Machine

Posted on January 14, 2012 by twitmericks

Some devious robbers in Manc/Made off with an ATM bank/They dug under the store/Then cut through the floor/Police have so far drawn a blank. http://www.channel4.com/news/tunnel-thieves-rob-a-cash-point-from-underneath

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Howdy Saudi

Posted on January 14, 2012 by twitmericks

So Cameron meets King Abdullah/To make UK-Saudi links fuller/Never mind human rights/When you have in your sights/Lotsa Saudi Arabian moola. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jan/13/david-cameron-saudi-arabia-ties?newsfeed=true

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Who’s the smallest of them all?

Posted on January 13, 2012 by twitmericks

One paedophryne amauensis/A frog half the size of 10 cents is/Maybe the most tiny/Live being that’s spiny/Unless a wee fish less immense is. http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/12/worlds-smallest-frog-discovered-is-smaller-than-a-dime/

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Dirty Des & Express Excess

Posted on January 12, 2012 by twitmericks

The boss of the Daily Express/Admits a degree of excess/In some stories it ran/Such as Madeleine McCann/And the death of a certain princess. http://news.sky.com/home/uk-news/article/16147663

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Semper Fuckwits

Posted on January 12, 2012 by twitmericks

There were a few US marines/Who were captured on camera in scenes/In which desecration/Was by urination/(Such disciplined killing machines). http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16524419

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Berkshire Hunt’s Cunning Stunt

Posted on January 12, 2012 by twitmericks

The Chair of the Old Berkshire Hunt/Sam Cameron’s dad, can be blunt/Saying northern MPs/Wanna trash Chiltern trees/So stop HS2. What a stunt! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9008760/Cameron-father-in-law-in-HS2-attack.html

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Many Happy Returns?

Posted on January 11, 2012 by twitmericks

The camp at Guantanamo Bay/Enjoys its 10th birthday today/I doubt they will bake/Detainees a big cake/Or get all their friends round to play. http://www.aljazeera.com/news/americas/2012/01/20121110427386398.html

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Gilani-Kayani Barney

Posted on January 11, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old man, Pakistani/PM Yousuf Raza Gilani/Who’s getting some grief/From the military chief/Cos he crossed General Ashfaq Kayani. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16511826

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There’s only one C in Scotland

Posted on January 11, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a Tory MP/With a Scottish constituency/There still is – just one/So what Cameron’s done/Is a gift to the auld SNP.

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Green Light at the End of Blue Tunnel

Posted on January 10, 2012 by twitmericks

Plans for a new line to Birmingham/HS2 as the planners are terming ’em)Have now been amended/A tunnel extended/So Tory MPs back affirming ’em. http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jan/10/hs2-rail-project-green-light

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