Category Archives: Uncategorized

DWP, IDS – WTF?

Posted on August 18, 2015 by twitmericks

The UK department for pensions/ Belatedly, grudgingly mentions/ That overjoyed claimants/ Who love losing payments/ Are utterly bogus inventions./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dwp-admits-making-up-quotes-by-benefit-claimants-saying-sanctions-helped-them-10460351.html The UK department for pensionsBelatedly, grudgingly mentionsThat overjoyed claimantsWho love losing paymentsAre utterly bogus inventions — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August … Continue reading →

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Ahead by a Whisker

Posted on August 17, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old man with a beard/ Who said it is just as I feared/ Because I’m a red/ And pulling ahead/ Another grandee’s interfered./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-miliband-intervenes-in-labour-leadership-with-warning-of-toryonly-rule-while-ed-miliband-remains-silent-10459147.html There was an old man with a beardWho said it is just as … Continue reading →

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Serb Smells Herb

Posted on August 16, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a champion Serb/ Whom stoners began to disturb./ The Number One seed/ Said “I can smell weed -/ Is somebody smoking the herb?”/// http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/aug/16/novak-djokovic-cannabis-smell-jeremy-chardy There once was a champion SerbWhom stoners began to disturb.The Number One seedSaid … Continue reading →

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DJ Boobs

Posted on August 16, 2015 by twitmericks

A BBC DJ from Hants/ Aired weird anti-breastfeeding rants/ This angered the Beeb/ And led to the dweeb/ Receiving a kick in the pants./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33904758 A BBC DJ from HantsAired weird anti-breastfeeding rantsThis angered the BeebAnd led to the dweebReceiving … Continue reading →

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Bic Gets Stick

Posted on August 12, 2015 by twitmericks

The pen manufacturer Bic/ Knows just how to talk to a chick/ For feminine pens/ Are different from men’s/ As long as you think like a dick./// http://af.reuters.com/article/topNews/idAFKCN0QH0WY20150812

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William’s Chillums

Posted on August 12, 2015 by twitmericks

Will Shakespeare wrote brilliant plays,/ The coiner of many a phrase/ Now pipes in his yard/ Suggest the old bard/ Did this in a weed-scented haze./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/william-shakespeare/11792533/Cannabis-discovered-in-tobacco-pipes-found-in-William-Shakespeares-garden.html Will Shakespeare wrote brilliant playsThe coiner of many a phraseNow pipes in his … Continue reading →

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Trump’s Lead Bleeds Away

Posted on August 10, 2015 by twitmericks

Republican wannabe Trump/ Finds backers are taking the hump/ Because the old bleeder/ Who wants to be leader/ Persistently speaks from his rump./// http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/aug/08/donald-trump-roger-stone-megyn-kelly Republican wannabe TrumpFinds backers are taking the humpBecause the old bleederWho wants to be leaderPersistently speaks … Continue reading →

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Minder Reminder

Posted on August 7, 2015 by twitmericks

Farewell to the actor George Cole/ For whom the bell now has to toll/ The man played a blinder/ As Arthur in Minder/ A quite unforgettable role./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/george-cole-dead-an-appreciation-of-the-minder-star-who-was-king-of-the-tv-spivs-10444206.html Farewell to the actor George ColeFor whom the bell now has to … Continue reading →

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Hitch Glitch

Posted on August 4, 2015 by twitmericks

A robot that set out to hitch/ Encountered a sonofabitch/ Who cut off its head/ And left it for dead,/ A serious technical glitch./// http://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/03/us/hitchbot-robot-beheaded-philadelphia-feat/index.html A robot that set out to hitchEncountered a sonofabitchWho cut off its headAnd left it … Continue reading →

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Hard Cell

Posted on August 4, 2015 by twitmericks

A trader and schemer and briber/ Convicted of rigging the Libor/ Has plenty of time/ To ponder his crime/ While sat in a cell on his Khyber*./// http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/aug/03/former-city-trader-tom-hayes-convicted-of-libor-rigging A trader and schemer and briberConvicted of rigging the LiborHas plenty of … Continue reading →

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