Category Archives: Uncategorized

Peeing Peer

Posted on June 8, 2015 by twitmericks

A peer done for speeding whose plea Was needing a WC Was fined, for the court Thought being caught short, Defence-wise, was taking the pee. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/tory-peer-lord-trefgarne-hit-with-driving-ban-after-claiming-he-needed-the-toilet-10291305.html A peer done for speeding whose pleaWas needing a WCWas fined, for the courtThought … Continue reading →

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Sum Mistake?

Posted on June 6, 2015 by twitmericks

If Hannah should randomly eat/ A red or a yellow boiled sweet/ The value of n/ Is patently 10/ (It’s easy as long as you cheat.)/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-33029606 If Hannah should randomly eatA red or a yellow boiled sweetThe value of … Continue reading →

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Little Jack Warner Fighting His Corner

Posted on June 4, 2015 by twitmericks

Ex-FIFA Vice-President Warner/ Fights back like a rat in a corner/ And threatens to name/ The others to blame/ For he’s not the only suborner./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jun/04/fifa-crisis-jack-warner-says-he-fears-for-life-and-will-reveal-avalanche-of-secrets Ex-FIFA Vice-President WarnerFights back like a rat in a cornerAnd threatens to nameThe others … Continue reading →

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Honourable Member

Posted on June 3, 2015 by twitmericks

A Danish man up for election/ Has courted the voters’ affection/ By taking a pic/ Exposing his dick/ And causing its general erection*./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/john-erik-wagner-the-danish-man-using-his-penis-on-election-posters-in-copenhagen-to-convince-voters-to-make-him-prime-minister-10291574.html A Danish man up for electionHas courted the voters' affectionBy taking a picExposing his dickAnd causing … Continue reading →

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Sepp Away

Posted on June 3, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Sepp/ Whose steadily worsening rep/ Made rendering briefer/ His tenure at FIFA/ A quite unavoidable step./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/fifa-corruption-probe-sepp-blatter-is-being-investigated-by-fbi-claims-report-10293216.html There was an old fellow named SeppWhose steadily worsening repMade rendering brieferHis tenure at FIFAA quite unavoidable … Continue reading →

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A Noisy Noise Annoys

Posted on June 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A judge jailed a woman she said/ Was being too rowdy in bed./ The neighbours averred/ The noise could be heard/ So loud it might waken the dead./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127 A judge jailed a woman she saidWas being too rowdy in … Continue reading →

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Punctured Pride

Posted on June 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A Kent naked bike ride was marred/ When one pumped-up cyclist got barred. He manfully tried To cover his pride But finally found it too hard./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-on-naked-bike-ride-gets-ejected-after-becoming-aroused-10288167.html A Kent naked bike race was marredWhen one pumped-up fellow got barred.He manfully … Continue reading →

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Jack the Lad

Posted on June 1, 2015 by twitmericks

An Arsenal player named Jack/ Is getting a wee bit of flak/ For singing rude slurs/ On rival club Spurs/ Implying resemblance to kack./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/may/31/arsenal-wilshere-anti-spurs-victory-parade An Arsenal player named JackIs getting a wee bit of flakFor singing rude slursOn rival … Continue reading →

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Eire Gets Fairer

Posted on May 23, 2015 by twitmericks

The Irish have now had their say/ From Dublin to Donegal Bay/ A motion was carried/ That folks can get married/ No matter if straight or if gay./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32856232 The Irish have now had their sayFrom Dublin to Donegal BayA … Continue reading →

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Hairy Botter and the Philosopher’s Bone

Posted on May 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A character in Harry Potter/ Grew up and got notably hotter/ The Hufflebuff Neville/ Turned horny old devil/ Has shocked JK Rowling, the rotter./// http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/harry-potter-twitter-bants-ftw#.peg5KK6y6 A character in Harry PotterGrew up and got notably hotterThe Hufflebuff NevilleTurned horny old devilHas … Continue reading →

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