Tag Archives: mps

Bottom line

A Tory MP who got tight/ Down Westminster way Tuesday night/ Grabbed hold of mens’ bums/ But this, say his chums,/ Was only to keep him upright./// A Tory MP who got tightDown Westminster way Tuesday nightGrabbed hold of mens' … Continue reading

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Mucky as Commons

Oh pity the people who clean/ The building where MPs have been,/ Removing stuff from it/ Like condoms and vomit/ And other things still more obscene./// Oh pity the people who cleanThe building where MPs have been,Removing stuff from itLike … Continue reading

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Dishonourable Members

Old Julian Smith, the Chief Whip,/ Whose party is losing its grip,/ Instructed the Chair/ To break with his pair/ Then brushed it all off as a slip./// Old Julian Smith, the Chief Whip,Whose party is losing its grip,Instructed the … Continue reading

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Fallon on his Sword

A senior minister quit/ Who’s named on the spreadsheet of shit,/ A record of sleaze/ By Tory MPs/ That’s got quite a few of them frit./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/nov/01/michael-fallon-quits-as-defence-secretary A senior minister quitWho's named on the spreadsheet of shit,A record of sleazeBy … Continue reading

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Good Clean Fun?

As washing machine salesman Jim,/ Keith partied with vigour and vim,/ But not even Daz/ Will rid Mr Vaz/ Of all the dirt clinging to him./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/married-mp-keith-vaz-tells-8763805 As washing machine salesman Jim,Keith partied with vigour and vim,But not even DazWill … Continue reading

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Leicester Molester

An MP who served Leicester West/ Sought children, it’s said, to molest/ But due to dementia/ The former backbencher/ Can keep on avoiding arrest./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32329924 An MP who served Leicester West Sought children, it's said, to molest But due to dementia The former … Continue reading

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I Want Candy

For Tory MP Nigel Mills/ Committee proceedings lacked thrills/ He found Candy Crush/ Brought more of a rush/ Than parliamentary bills./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-30375609 For Tory MP Nigel Mills Committee proceedings lacked thrills He found Candy Crush Brought more of a rush Than parliamentary bills. — … Continue reading

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An Upstanding Member

I bring you a cock and bull story/ Of how Penny Mordaunt, a Tory/ Discussed poultry flocks,/ Inserting some cocks/ And causing a minor furore./// http://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/tory-mp-penny-mordaunt-smutty-cock-commons-speech-dare-9893411.html I bring you a cock and bull story Of how Penny Mordaunt, a Tory Discussed poultry … Continue reading

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Sexual Politics

Oh pity the weary MP/ Relaxed by the odd G&T/ Attempting to nurture/ The Commons researcher/ By placing a hand on a knee. ///http://www.channel4.com/news/sexual-harassment-culture-in-parliament-exposed-westminster-commons

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Hancock Lives Up to His Name

A Lib Dem is under suspension/ For unwanted sexual attention/ The upstanding member/ Denies, let’s remember/ The case’s main bone of contention. ///http://order-order.com/2014/01/22/the-mike-hancock-report-that-the-libdems-hid/ A Lib Dem is under suspension For unwanted sexual attention The upstanding member Denies, let's remember The case's main bone of … Continue reading

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