Monthly Archives: December 2011

Royal Pain

There is an old fellow named Phil/Who’s laid up in hospital ill/The royal consort/Is missing the sport/Like the pheasant he’d normally kill. http://www.metro.co.uk/news/885834-prince-philip-misses-boxing-day-hunt-despite-good-third-night-in-hospital

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Kickin’ Off

A training shoe known as Air Jordan/Resulted in scenes of maraudin’/LA to Seattle/The shoppers did battle/But was victory truly rewardin’? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/8977045/America-goes-wild-for-Nike-trainers-as-fights-break-out-across-the-country.html

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Hello Sailor

A sailor whose name is Marissa/Saw her gf & started to kiss ‘er/Now gays are allowed/To be out & proud/So the navy today can’t dismiss ‘er.

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Firm boobs

A dubious outfit in France/Made 1000s of bad breast implants/They rupture & split/Aggravating the tit/The damn things’re designed to enhance.

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F-f-f- Fadin’ Aidan

A Tory MP known as Aidan/Has pals who are fond of paradin’/In Nazi-themed gear/Which is why his career/In politics seems to be fadin’. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-16299035

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The Mystery of Morgan’s Organ

A bloody great anchor named #Piers/Did not have a clue, it appears/Who did what on his organ/So said Mr Morgan/Eliciting nationwide jeers. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/piers-morgan-testifies-u-k-phone-hacking-case-171303941.html

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Defender to Offender

Liverpool player Luis/Was banned for abusing Patrice/While Chelsea man John/For race hate to Anton/Has been charged with a crime by police. http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/dec/21/john-terry-racism-case-cps http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/dec/20/liverpool-luis-suarez-patrice-evra And wasn’t it helpful that they each abused fellow players with rhyming names!

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Taxers Attacked

Inspectors at HMRC/Have been bollocked for leniency/They let Goldman Sachs/Avoid millions in tax/Now why won’t they do that for me? http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/dec/20/inland-revenue-sweetheart-tax-deals

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Much Missiled

There was an old man from Pyongyang/Who wanted to go with a bang/So when he expired/A missile was fired/(So long Kim, from all of the gang). http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iVzI_HH7dQpBwYmyMi4TkFX0tnSg?docId=CNG.951e1b71082f403024107896ebb19032.371

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Korea Opportunities

There was a Korean named Kim/Whose rule was decidedly grim/But now Dear Successor/Can be the oppressor/The Kim’s dead, so long live the Kim. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/dec/19/kim-jong-il-north-korea?newsfeed=true

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