Monthly Archives: September 2012

Grant Shapps – He’s really Two Chaps

Posted on September 23, 2012 by twitmericks

There once were a couple of chaps/ But apparently both were Grant Shapps/ The Tory MP/ Had another ID/ He attempted to keep under wraps. http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/21/grant-shapps-posed-web-guru?newsfeed=true

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Beardy Weirdy

Posted on September 21, 2012 by twitmericks

An old Amish man with a beard/ Had enemies forcibly sheared/ He’s now been convicted/ For hurt he inflicted/ And for being decidedly weird. /// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/9556766/Amish-men-found-guilty-in-beard-cutting-attacks.html

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Whip Lets Rip

Posted on September 21, 2012 by twitmericks

A senior Tory Chief Whip/ Berated police, letting rip/ & told one to his face/ “F-ing plebs, know your place”/ See the mask of togetherness slip. ///http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/4549265/Andrew-Mitchell-insults-police-at-Downing-Street-by-calling-them-fing-plebs.html

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War Baby

Posted on September 20, 2012 by twitmericks

A soldier on base in Helmand/ Had pains she did not understand/ The doctor said “Maybe/ You’re having a baby”/ Conceivably not what was planned. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19657646

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Nick Feels a Prick

Posted on September 20, 2012 by twitmericks

Liberal Democrat Nick/ Made a pledge to which he didn’t stick/ Now sorry for making it/ If not for breaking it/ Conscience-wise, Nick feels a prick. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/nick-clegg-eats-humble-pie-over-broken-promises-8157482.html

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Mrs Messiah

Posted on September 19, 2012 by twitmericks

A messiah who lived in Judea/ Never wed, is the general idea/ But now we hear Christ/ May’ve gone & got spliced/ & Ms Magdalen was his old dear. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19645273  

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Mitt in the Shitt

Posted on September 18, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old fellow named Mitt/ Who’s proving a bit of a twit/ He told wealthy donors/ The poor are just moaners/ & half US people are shit. /// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19631430

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Bacc To The Future

Posted on September 17, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a prominent Tory at/ Great pains to revile and excoriate/ The GCSE/ So he made Clegg agree/ To a thing called an E-Baccalaureate. /// http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/sep/17/gcses-replaced-english-baccalaureate?intcmp=239

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Legal Cover-up

Posted on September 17, 2012 by twitmericks

The Prince & Princess of the Brits/ Are serving a number of writs/ Against magazines/ In which feature scenes/ Containing the princess’s tits. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/panewsfeeds/royal-lawyers-seek-photos-charges-8143363.html

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Dirty Des

Posted on September 16, 2012 by twitmericks

The Chairman of Northern & Shell/ Does not mind the odd topless gel/ So why is Des fussed/ About K Middy’s bust?/ He must fear he’s going 2 hell. ///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2203868/Kate-Middleton-topless-photos-Richard-Desmonds-fury-Irish-Daily-Stars-decision-print-pictures.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

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