Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Underground Indiscretion

Posted on October 4, 2012 by twitmericks

A football supremo named Roy/ Would mix with the Tube hoi polloi/ But the silly old sod/ Revealed his squad/ There are places it pays to be coy. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/19827887  

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Off The Rails

Posted on October 3, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a rail franchising system/ Of targets, with fines if you mystem/ But ministry prats/ Cocked up various stats/ Perhaps it is time we dismystem. ///http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/8df86226-0d50-11e2-97a1-00144feabdc0.html#axzz28F9eCzRf

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One Nation Oration

Posted on October 2, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a young fellow named Ed/ Who spoke to his party & said/ My state education/ Made me back One Nation/ That Cameron’s got too much bread.

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Milk Made

Posted on October 2, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a young calf in NZ/ That GM technicians have bred/ To only produce/ Non-allergic cow-juice/ (She is tailless, but has just one head). //// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/scientists-create-gm-cow-to-cut-milk-allergies-in-children-8193172.html

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Jimmy Riddle

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old DJ named Savile/ Whose  image began to unravel/ As he was  accused/ By girls he abused/ But a dead man cannot face the gavel. /// http://www.channel4.com/news/jimmy-savile-sex-claims-no-surprise

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Ryder – Why, It’s Won!*

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

Team USA led in the Ryder/ The margin could not’ve been wider/ But those men of Europe/ Kept putting their score up/ & narrowly won the decider. //// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/golf/19780678 *Apologies to T Rex for this very obscure and tenuous pun.  

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Parade’s End?

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a parade in Belfast/ To mark an event in the past/ A century’s gone/ But division lives on/ I wonder how long it will last. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/sep/29/belfast-march-draws-30000?newsfeed=true (written and tweeted Sat 29th Sept, posted late as I was away … Continue reading →

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Crap Map App

Posted on September 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A company famous for apps/ That saw its brand image collapse/ Has made an apology/ For dodgy topology/ Behind the crap app, Apple maps. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19760978

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Bo to Go

Posted on September 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A top politician named Bo/ Rose high but has now fallen low/ On the spurious ground/ He was screwing around/ The party says Bo’s got to go. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-19755035

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Terry’s All Racist

Posted on September 27, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a defender named John/ Who abused an opponent, Anton/ The FA found Terry/ Was racist and sweary/ And fined him – a week’s wages gone. ////http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/john-terry-banned-for-four-matches-and-fined-220000-after-fa-find-chelsea-captain-guilty-over-racism-charge-8181827.html

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