Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

War Baby

A soldier on base in Helmand/ Had pains she did not understand/ The doctor said “Maybe/ You’re having a baby”/ Conceivably not what was planned. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19657646

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Nick Feels a Prick

Liberal Democrat Nick/ Made a pledge to which he didn’t stick/ Now sorry for making it/ If not for breaking it/ Conscience-wise, Nick feels a prick. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/nick-clegg-eats-humble-pie-over-broken-promises-8157482.html

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Mrs Messiah

A messiah who lived in Judea/ Never wed, is the general idea/ But now we hear Christ/ May’ve gone & got spliced/ & Ms Magdalen was his old dear. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19645273  

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Mitt in the Shitt

There is an old fellow named Mitt/ Who’s proving a bit of a twit/ He told wealthy donors/ The poor are just moaners/ & half US people are shit. /// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19631430

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Bacc To The Future

There once was a prominent Tory at/ Great pains to revile and excoriate/ The GCSE/ So he made Clegg agree/ To a thing called an E-Baccalaureate. /// http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/sep/17/gcses-replaced-english-baccalaureate?intcmp=239

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Legal Cover-up

The Prince & Princess of the Brits/ Are serving a number of writs/ Against magazines/ In which feature scenes/ Containing the princess’s tits. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/panewsfeeds/royal-lawyers-seek-photos-charges-8143363.html

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Dirty Des

The Chairman of Northern & Shell/ Does not mind the odd topless gel/ So why is Des fussed/ About K Middy’s bust?/ He must fear he’s going 2 hell. ///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2203868/Kate-Middleton-topless-photos-Richard-Desmonds-fury-Irish-Daily-Stars-decision-print-pictures.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

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Pap-papping Paparazzi

There is a young duchess named Kate/ Who’s said to be very irate/ After paps papped her paps/ A terrible lapse/ Many journos at length deprecate.  

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Out-of-office – back on Sept 15th

Having limericked every day/ Since 2011, in  May/ Mick Twister’s to take/ A week’s Twitter break/ (No scandal please while I’m away).

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Harry’s Chopper

There was a young Prince of the Land/ Who voyaged away to Helmand/ Alone with his chopper/ He has to act proper/ (And naked photography’s banned). ////http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/sep/07/prince-harry-camp-bastion

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