Flightless Bird

Posted on February 1, 2018 by twitmericks

An artist attempted in vain/

To carry her bird on a plane,/

United denying/

A peacock, when flying,/

Might help with emotional strain.///

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Conversation Killer

Posted on January 31, 2018 by twitmericks

Researchers have found a cetacean/

Who’ll handle a brief conversation;/

Young Wikie the orca/

Is not a bad talker/

Just don’t expect long peroration.///

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Money’s too Tight for Pensions

Posted on January 29, 2018 by twitmericks

The outsourcing giant Carillion/
Whose pension black hole is a billion/
Stopped funding the pot/
While shareholders got/
A total of 70 million.///

 

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Trouble Spreading

Posted on January 27, 2018 by twitmericks

Where once people fought for their bread,/

They riot for hazelnut spread;/

Marie Antoinette/

Might well declare: “Let/

Them eat peanut butter instead”.///

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Fool’s Gold

Posted on January 26, 2018 by twitmericks

The head of a major world power/

Requested some art for his bower;/

The Guggenheim said/

They’d lend him instead/

A golden loo – matching his shower.///

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dc-politics/the-white-house-wanted-a-van-gogh-the-guggenheim-offered-a-used-solid-gold-toilet/2018/01/25/38d574fc-0154-11e8-bb03-722769454f82_story.html?utm_term=.a18ca7153c9a

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Stags at Bay

Posted on January 25, 2018 by twitmericks

A men-only function for charity/

Was outed for sexist vulgarity/

And corporate groping,/

Which left many hoping/

For #TimesUp on gender disparity.///

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Pageant Organisers get Hump

Posted on January 24, 2018 by twitmericks

A pageant in Saudi kicked out/

Twelve entrants, for there is no doubt/

A beautiful camel/

Appearing too glam’ll/

Have Botox to thank for its pout.///

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Missing in Inaction

Posted on January 23, 2018 by twitmericks

The shutdown returned to the Senate/

For compromise talks to prevennit/

With no help from Trump,/

Who sat on his rump,/

And even now seems to resennit.///

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/22/politics/trump-policy-shutdown-analysis/index.html

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The President’s Progress

Posted on January 21, 2018 by twitmericks

Let’s all give a leader a cheer/

Who’s now been in power a year;/

His post fairly won,/

He’s getting things done -/

In Gambia, just to be clear.///

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Thumping Trump’s Rump

Posted on January 19, 2018 by twitmericks

An elderly man often seen/

Out stroking his balls on the green/

Reportedly thanked/

A porn star who spanked/

His bottom with Forbes Magazine.///

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