Rashly Cole

Posted on October 5, 2012 by twitmericks

An England defender named Ashley/

Attacked the FA a bit brashly/

He called the brass hats/

A load of old twats/

But now regrets tweeting so rashly.

////

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/ashley-cole-apologises-for-labelling-fa-a-bunch-of-tts-after-his-evidence-in-john-terry-trial-is-questioned-8199583.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bettison Jettisoned

Posted on October 5, 2012 by twitmericks

A copper who’s been under fire/

Announces he plans to retire/

But as police jettison/

ir Norman Bettison/

Will he admit he’s a liar?

///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19842279

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Underground Indiscretion

Posted on October 4, 2012 by twitmericks

A football supremo named Roy/

Would mix with the Tube hoi polloi/

But the silly old sod/

Revealed his squad/

There are places it pays to be coy.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/19827887

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Off The Rails

Posted on October 3, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a rail franchising system/

Of targets, with fines if you mystem/

But ministry prats/

Cocked up various stats/

Perhaps it is time we dismystem.

///http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/8df86226-0d50-11e2-97a1-00144feabdc0.html#axzz28F9eCzRf

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

One Nation Oration

Posted on October 2, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a young fellow named Ed/

Who spoke to his party & said/

My state education/

Made me back One Nation/

That Cameron’s got too much bread.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Milk Made

Posted on October 2, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a young calf in NZ/

That GM technicians have bred/

To only produce/

Non-allergic cow-juice/

(She is tailless, but has just one head).

////

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/scientists-create-gm-cow-to-cut-milk-allergies-in-children-8193172.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Jimmy Riddle

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old DJ named Savile/

Whose  image began to unravel/

As he was  accused/

By girls he abused/

But a dead man cannot face the gavel.

///

http://www.channel4.com/news/jimmy-savile-sex-claims-no-surprise

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Ryder – Why, It’s Won!*

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

Team USA led in the Ryder/

The margin could not’ve been wider/

But those men of Europe/

Kept putting their score up/

& narrowly won the decider.

//// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/golf/19780678

*Apologies to T Rex for this very obscure and tenuous pun.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Parade’s End?

Posted on October 1, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a parade in Belfast/

To mark an event in the past/

A century’s gone/

But division lives on/

I wonder how long it will last.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/sep/29/belfast-march-draws-30000?newsfeed=true

(written and tweeted Sat 29th Sept, posted late as I was away from a computer).

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Crap Map App

Posted on September 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A company famous for apps/

That saw its brand image collapse/

Has made an apology/

For dodgy topology/

Behind the crap app, Apple maps.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19760978

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment