Beardy Weirdy

Posted on September 21, 2012 by twitmericks

An old Amish man with a beard/

Had enemies forcibly sheared/

He’s now been convicted/

For hurt he inflicted/

And for being decidedly weird.

///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/9556766/Amish-men-found-guilty-in-beard-cutting-attacks.html

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Whip Lets Rip

Posted on September 21, 2012 by twitmericks

A senior Tory Chief Whip/

Berated police, letting rip/

& told one to his face/

“F-ing plebs, know your place”/

See the mask of togetherness slip.

///http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/4549265/Andrew-Mitchell-insults-police-at-Downing-Street-by-calling-them-fing-plebs.html

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War Baby

Posted on September 20, 2012 by twitmericks

A soldier on base in Helmand/

Had pains she did not understand/

The doctor said “Maybe/

You’re having a baby”/

Conceivably not what was planned.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19657646

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Nick Feels a Prick

Posted on September 20, 2012 by twitmericks

Liberal Democrat Nick/

Made a pledge to which he didn’t stick/

Now sorry for making it/

If not for breaking it/

Conscience-wise, Nick feels a prick.

///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/nick-clegg-eats-humble-pie-over-broken-promises-8157482.html

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Mrs Messiah

Posted on September 19, 2012 by twitmericks

A messiah who lived in Judea/

Never wed, is the general idea/

But now we hear Christ/

May’ve gone & got spliced/

& Ms Magdalen was his old dear.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19645273

 

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Mitt in the Shitt

Posted on September 18, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old fellow named Mitt/

Who’s proving a bit of a twit/

He told wealthy donors/

The poor are just moaners/

& half US people are shit.

///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19631430

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Bacc To The Future

Posted on September 17, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a prominent Tory at/

Great pains to revile and excoriate/

The GCSE/

So he made Clegg agree/

To a thing called an E-Baccalaureate.

/// http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/sep/17/gcses-replaced-english-baccalaureate?intcmp=239

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Legal Cover-up

Posted on September 17, 2012 by twitmericks

The Prince & Princess of the Brits/

Are serving a number of writs/

Against magazines/

In which feature scenes/

Containing the princess’s tits.

///http://www.standard.co.uk/panewsfeeds/royal-lawyers-seek-photos-charges-8143363.html

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Dirty Des

Posted on September 16, 2012 by twitmericks

The Chairman of Northern & Shell/

Does not mind the odd topless gel/

So why is Des fussed/

About K Middy’s bust?/

He must fear he’s going 2 hell.

///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2203868/Kate-Middleton-topless-photos-Richard-Desmonds-fury-Irish-Daily-Stars-decision-print-pictures.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

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Pap-papping Paparazzi

Posted on September 16, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a young duchess named Kate/

Who’s said to be very irate/

After paps papped her paps/

A terrible lapse/

Many journos at length deprecate.

 

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