Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Father’s Fondant Fancies

Posted on October 6, 2015 by twitmericks

A fetishist priest had to beat it/ Because (though I hardly dare tweet it)/ Erotic confection/ Was his predilection/ He’d have his cake rather than eat it./// http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3259947/Top-Orthodox-priest-27-resigns-kinky-sex-tapes-parochial-school-principal-45-sitting-cakes-underwear-rubbing-feet-face-surfaces.html A fetishist priest had to beat itBecause, if I even dare tweet … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Jet Toilette

Posted on October 3, 2015 by twitmericks

According to US criteria,/ The UK loo roll is inferior;/ The Jets came equipped/ And had their own shipped/ To service the New York posterior./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-34430305 According to US criteria,The UK loo roll is inferior;The Jets came equippedAnd had their … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

ISIS Crisis

Posted on October 2, 2015 by twitmericks

The West’s in a bit of a crisis/ Regarding the problem of ISIS/ As Russia drops bombs/ On Hama and Homs,/ Leaving Assad to his own devices./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/oct/01/russia-targeting-non-isis-groups-syria-airstrikes https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/649962518790733824

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Unsavoury Slavery

Posted on September 30, 2015 by twitmericks

The PM showed disinclination/ To finance slave trade compensation/ But offered Jamaica/ By way of icebreaker/ A new wave of crim transportation./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34401412 The PM showed disinclinationTo finance slave trade compensationBut offered JamaicaBy way of icebreakerA new wave of crim … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

FIFA Madness #2

Posted on September 29, 2015 by twitmericks

Police are now questioning Blatter/ Regarding a criminal matter;/ He wrote massive cheques/ To FIFA execs/ Whose wallets got fatter and fatter./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34384930 Police are now questioning #BlatterRegarding a criminal matter;He wrote massive chequesTo FIFA execsWhose wallets got fatter and … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Emission Admission

Posted on September 23, 2015 by twitmericks

VW Chief Exec Martin/ Announced he will now be departin’/ Because of admissions/ Of dodgy emissions/ (Which clearly the man had no part in)./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34340997 VW Chief Exec MartinAnnounced he will now be departin'Because of admissionsOf dodgy emissions(Which clearly the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Who Squealed?

Posted on September 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A leading Conservative Lord/ Has used a new book to record/ Some bestial claims/ Of pig-sticking games/ Involving the PM’s pork sword./// http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2015/09/will-lord-ashcrofts-scandalous-biography-harm-david-cameron-0 A leading Conservative LordHas used a new book to recordSome bestial claimsOf pig-sticking gamesInvolving the PM's pork … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Barmy Army

Posted on September 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A general felt he should mention/ The army top brass’s intention,/ If Corbyn wins power/ To capture the hour/ By means of an armed intervention./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/ministry-of-defence-condemn-army-general-behind-jeremy-corbyn-mutiny-threat-10510353.html A general felt he should mentionThe army top brass's intention,If Corbyn wins powerTo capture … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Putin It On

Posted on September 18, 2015 by twitmericks

A singer named Elton was had/ When somebody posing as Vlad/ Rang up for discussions/ On life for gay Russians,/ But it was a prankster, the cad! ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34276893 A singer named Elton was hadWhen somebody posing as VladRang up for … Continue reading →

Posted in elton john, gay, lgbt, putin, russia | Leave a comment

School Terror Error

Posted on September 17, 2015 by twitmericks

A boy came to school in 9th grade/ To show off a clock he had made/ This started a panic/ Because he’s Islamic/ So terror police staged a raid./// http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/sep/16/sudanse-american-boy-handcuffed-homemade-clock-school A boy came to school in 9th gradeTo show off … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment