Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Outrageous Slur

Posted on October 28, 2015 by twitmericks

A liking for whisky and wine/ Allegedly helped create Strine/ Australians slurred,/ An expert’s inferred,/ Because they were boozing like swine./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/australian-accent-is-a-product-of-early-settlers-heavy-drinking-claims-academic-a6711486.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/659428131518980096

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The Hardest Word

Posted on October 25, 2015 by twitmericks

The former PM Tony Blair/ Said look guys, y’ know, to be fair -/ You do what it takes,/ We all make mistakes,/ So #sorrynotsorry, don’t care./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-34630380 The former PM Tony BlairSaid look guys, y' know, to be fair … Continue reading →

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Bastian’s Doppelgänger

Posted on October 23, 2015 by twitmericks

A Nazi doll bearing his name,/ Says Schweinsteiger, tends to defame./ The figure’s designer/ Says over in China/ You Germans, you all look the same!/// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/oct/22/bastian-schweinsteiger-nazi-doll-sue A Nazi doll bearing his nameSays Schweinsteiger, tends to defameThe figure's designerSays over in … Continue reading →

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Bibi’s BS

Posted on October 21, 2015 by twitmericks

It seems Netanyahu’s opinion/ Is Hitler was simply a minion;/ The silly old fart sees/ The head of the Nazis/ As misled by some Palestinian./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-34594563 It seems Netanyahu's opinionIs Hitler was simply a minion;The silly old fart seesThe head … Continue reading →

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Menagerie a Trois

Posted on October 17, 2015 by twitmericks

A zookeeper tending to llamas/ Got tangled in amorous dramas/ As one colleague fought/ Another who sought/ The beast caged within his pyjamas./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/meerkat-handler-glassed-monkey-expert-6635614 A zookeeper tending to llamasGot tangled in amorous dramasAs one colleague foughtAnother who soughtThe beast caged … Continue reading →

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Splitting the Bill at the Dog and Duck

Posted on October 15, 2015 by twitmericks

A dog and a duck had a fight/ While out for a bevvy one night/ The dicky-bowed duck/ Lost out in the ruck,/ Its beak being worse than its bite./// http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/10/14/bow-tie-wearing-duck-walks-into-pub-drinks-pint-fights-dog-loses_n_8291582.html A dog and a duck had a fightWhile out … Continue reading →

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Anti-Social Network

Posted on October 12, 2015 by twitmericks

A network came in for attacks/ Regarding avoidance of tax/ What no UK profit?/ Oh Facebook come off it/ Brit users are earning you stacks!/// http://www.theguardian.com/media/2014/oct/22/facebook-uk-corporation-tax https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/653630446870339584

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Klopp to the Kop

Posted on October 12, 2015 by twitmericks

For Liverpool fans at the Kop/ Results were all over the shop/ So Fenway said Brendan/ Your tenure is endin’/ We’re hiring a German named Klopp./// For Liverpool fans at the KopResults were all over the shopSo Fenway said BrendanYour … Continue reading →

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Father’s Fondant Fancies

Posted on October 6, 2015 by twitmericks

A fetishist priest had to beat it/ Because (though I hardly dare tweet it)/ Erotic confection/ Was his predilection/ He’d have his cake rather than eat it./// http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3259947/Top-Orthodox-priest-27-resigns-kinky-sex-tapes-parochial-school-principal-45-sitting-cakes-underwear-rubbing-feet-face-surfaces.html A fetishist priest had to beat itBecause, if I even dare tweet … Continue reading →

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Jet Toilette

Posted on October 3, 2015 by twitmericks

According to US criteria,/ The UK loo roll is inferior;/ The Jets came equipped/ And had their own shipped/ To service the New York posterior./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-34430305 According to US criteria,The UK loo roll is inferior;The Jets came equippedAnd had their … Continue reading →

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