Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Sail Fail

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks

Some sailors who came from NZ Got beaten altho they once led. The PM said bugger Let’s just stick to rugger, Or race someone easy instead. ///http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/09/26/us-sailing-americascup-zealand-idUSBRE98P03M20130926 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/383310930987081728

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How Does He Smell?

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a young fellow who said “It isn’t because I’m ill-bred – I stick up my nose Because the thing grows Right out of the top of my head!”   ///http://metro.co.uk/2013/09/25/chinese-man-has-new-nose-grown-on-his-forehead-4110178/ https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/383219648277118976

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Binding Decision

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks

A village hall had to decide On BDSM talks inside. In rather a bind Trustees changed their mind – Their hands, I suspect, being tied. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-24240287 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/383184273668186112

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Reds Under the Ed

Posted on September 25, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Ed/ Who went down to Brighton and said/ That Bills must be capped/ And bedroom tax scrapped./ Apparently this makes him red. ///http://metro.co.uk/2013/09/24/labour-party-conference-red-ed-miliband-stakes-his-claim-as-pledges-on-energy-and-land-mark-shift-to-left-4104211/ https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/382779480500350976

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Biteback Fightback

Posted on September 24, 2013 by twitmericks

A publisher named @IainDale Has @DPMcBride‘s book on sale.He totally knackeredSome old geezer’s placardBy suddenly turning rogue male. (Apologies to non-Twitter readers for the @signs). http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/willheaven/100237540/photo-iain-dale-fights-a-nuclear-protester-at-labour-conference/ A publisher named @IainDale Has @DPMcBride's book on sale.He totally knackeredSome old geezer's placardBy suddenly … Continue reading →

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Close, but no Overall Majority

Posted on September 23, 2013 by twitmericks

Victorious Angela Merkel/ To make her new government work’ll/ Require a deal/ With broader appeal/ Beyond her political circle. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24197994 Victorious Angela MerkelTo make her new government work'llRequire a dealWith broader appealBeyond her political circle. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) September … Continue reading →

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Godfrey’s Bloomers

Posted on September 20, 2013 by twitmericks

An old UKIP duffer called Bloom/ Made Farage and company fume,/ The maverick klutz/ Describing as sluts/ The women all round in the room. ///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/sep/20/nigel-farage-godfrey-bloom-sluts-ukip https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/381098356669313024

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Kiss n Tell McBride

Posted on September 20, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an old Labourite spinner/ Who’s owned up to being a sinner./ He smeared & he lied/ Yet @DPMcBride/ Still couldn’t make Gordon a winner. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24171077 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/380988967933341696

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The End is Nigh(ish)

Posted on September 19, 2013 by twitmericks

It’s only a few billion years/ According to scientists’ fears/ Till we move to Mars/ Or seek out new stars/ As our Goldilocks Zone disappears. ///http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/sep/18/forecast-life-on-earth https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/380605021769195520

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Anchor Man

Posted on September 18, 2013 by twitmericks

Nick Clegg told Lib Dems “I’m an anchor/Tho there’s no political rancour/My vital position/In this coalition/Stops Cameron being a wanker”./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/liberaldemocrats/10318317/Liberal-Democrats-an-anchor-holding-back-Tories-and-Labour-says-Nick-Clegg.html Nick Clegg told Lib Dems "I'm an anchorTho there's no political rancourMy vital positionIn this coalitionStops Cameron being a … Continue reading →

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