Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

To Know a Veil

Posted on September 16, 2013 by twitmericks

A Hackney defendant has failed/ To get legal rights to stay veiled/ For everyone/ Must be seen to be done/ I guess was the view that prevailed. /// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-24112067 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/379587899362004992

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hawaii You Spelling that?

Posted on September 15, 2013 by twitmericks

A woman who lives in Hawaii/ Has a name to make Mick Twister cry./ The limerick man/ Can not rhyme nor scan/ Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57602984/hawaii-womans-last-name-so-long-it-wont-fit-on-her-license// A woman who lives in HawaiiHas a name to make Mick Twister cry.The limerick manCan not … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Cluster F*cked

Posted on September 14, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Trappe/ Who had a ballooning mishappe/ His cluster lost motion/ Well short of the ocean/ In fact it was utterly crappe./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-24076168 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/378808973685579776

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Mail Sale Fail

Posted on September 13, 2013 by twitmericks

The company called Royal Mail/ Is now to be put up for sale/ I doubt that my letter/ Will fare any better/ To judge by what happened with rail. ////http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/sep/12/royal-mail-strikes-privatisation https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/378239364054405120

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Special Delivery

Posted on September 12, 2013 by twitmericks

Police have moved in to detain/ A mum-to-be catching a plane./ Officials suspecting/ She wasn’t expecting/ Discovered the bump hid cocaine. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/video-canadian-woman-held-over-baby-bump-cocaine-stash-8811328.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/378198073672884224

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Direct Challenge

Posted on September 9, 2013 by twitmericks

Old Gabriel Agbonlahor/Appears to have started a war/With fans of 1D/By kicking the knee/Of Louis, whom they all adore./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/gabriel-agbonlahor-tackles-louis-tomlinson-2260599 Old Gabriel AgbonlahorI gather has started a warWith fans of 1DBy kicking the kneeOf Louis, whom they all adore.http://t.co/6d0d04LEFh — … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Transports of Delight

Posted on September 8, 2013 by twitmericks

A man on a bus who shampooed His parts in a manner most lewd Declared “I’m not hardened, So may I be pardoned For being so terribly rude”. ///http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/376825410786295808

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Grounds for Suspicion

Posted on September 8, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was an old Duke of York Who went in the grounds for a walk The over-keen cop Who shouted out “Stop!” Must now feel a bit of a dork. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24005811 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/376802883036921856

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Abbott to Grab it

Posted on September 8, 2013 by twitmericks

Australia‘s general election Resulted for Rudd in rejection And so Tony Abbott Can now have a stab at A shift in a rightward direction. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-24005687 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/376300160084889600

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Labour Movement?

Posted on September 6, 2013 by twitmericks

An unemployed fellow from Wales/ Sought work in electrical sales/ He hadn’t a chance/ As Currys said ‘dance,/ The best Daft Punk mover prevails‘/ // An unemployed fellow from WalesSought work in electrical salesHe hadn't a chanceAs Currys said 'dance,The … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment