Father’s Fondant Fancies

Posted on October 6, 2015 by twitmericks

A fetishist priest had to beat it/

Because (though I hardly dare tweet it)/

Erotic confection/

Was his predilection/

He’d have his cake rather than eat it.///

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3259947/Top-Orthodox-priest-27-resigns-kinky-sex-tapes-parochial-school-principal-45-sitting-cakes-underwear-rubbing-feet-face-surfaces.html

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Jet Toilette

Posted on October 3, 2015 by twitmericks

According to US criteria,/

The UK loo roll is inferior;/

The Jets came equipped/

And had their own shipped/

To service the New York posterior.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-34430305

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ISIS Crisis

Posted on October 2, 2015 by twitmericks
The West’s in a bit of a crisis/
Regarding the problem of ISIS/
As Russia drops bombs/
On Hama and Homs,/
Leaving Assad to his own devices.///
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Unsavoury Slavery

Posted on September 30, 2015 by twitmericks

The PM showed disinclination/

To finance slave trade compensation/

But offered Jamaica/

By way of icebreaker/

A new wave of crim transportation.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34401412

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FIFA Madness #2

Posted on September 29, 2015 by twitmericks

Police are now questioning Blatter/

Regarding a criminal matter;/

He wrote massive cheques/

To FIFA execs/

Whose wallets got fatter and fatter.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34384930

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Emission Admission

Posted on September 23, 2015 by twitmericks

VW Chief Exec Martin/
Announced he will now be departin’/
Because of admissions/
Of dodgy emissions/
(Which clearly the man had no part in).///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-34340997

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Who Squealed?

Posted on September 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A leading Conservative Lord/

Has used a new book to record/

Some bestial claims/

Of pig-sticking games/

Involving the PM’s pork sword.///

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2015/09/will-lord-ashcrofts-scandalous-biography-harm-david-cameron-0

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Barmy Army

Posted on September 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A general felt he should mention/

The army top brass’s intention,/

If Corbyn wins power/

To capture the hour/

By means of an armed intervention.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/ministry-of-defence-condemn-army-general-behind-jeremy-corbyn-mutiny-threat-10510353.html

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Putin It On

Posted on September 18, 2015 by twitmericks

A singer named Elton was had/

When somebody posing as Vlad/

Rang up for discussions/

On life for gay Russians,/

But it was a prankster, the cad!

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34276893

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School Terror Error

Posted on September 17, 2015 by twitmericks

A boy came to school in 9th grade/

To show off a clock he had made/

This started a panic/

Because he’s Islamic/

So terror police staged a raid.///

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/sep/16/sudanse-american-boy-handcuffed-homemade-clock-school

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