The Last Straw

Posted on February 23, 2015 by twitmericks

Ex-ministers Rifkind and Straw/
Are seen as a lobbying draw./
For five grand a day/
They’ll help smooth the way,/
Or change a Ukrainian law.///
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/23/jack-straw-malcolm-rifkind-deny-wrongdoing-cash-for-access-claims

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Racist Blues

Posted on February 22, 2015 by twitmericks

When Chelsea FC went to France/
Some fans made despicable chants/
Dealing with racism/
Urgently faces ’em -/
A boil that the club has to lance.///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/22/chelsea-fans-paris-metro-racism-identified-police

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Californication

Posted on February 16, 2015 by twitmericks

A woman from south California/
Desiring her intercourse pornier/
Is suing E.L./
Whose ‘Fifty Shades’ Gel/
Did not make her feel any hornier.///
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/09/sex-toy-company-sued-50-shades-of-grey-lubricant-el-james_n_6643902.html

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#FreedAJStaff

Posted on February 13, 2015 by twitmericks

Two journalists wrongly in jail/
Are finally let out on bail/
Now Egypt must see/
They all must go free/
It’s time to let justice prevail.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-31450919

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OMG HSBC!

Posted on February 11, 2015 by twitmericks

The chairman of HSBC/
Which, unchecked by HMRC/
Used every occasion/
To push tax evasion,/
Then joined HMG. OMG!///
http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/feb/10/hsbc-files-hmrc-cleared-stephen-green-for-peerage-misconduct-data

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Designs on His Body

Posted on February 10, 2015 by twitmericks

A killer who was to be wed/

Found out he was being misled./

According to Manson/

His fiancee plans on/

Exploiting his body once dead.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/charles-manson-wedding-off-after-it-emerges-that-girlfriend-afton-elaine-burton-just-wanted-his-corpse-for-display-10034793.html

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Screws Screwed

Posted on February 10, 2015 by twitmericks

The screws in a house of correction/
Submitted to sexual subjection/
With warders all gagged/
Handcuffed & debagged/
A breakout evaded detection.///
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/dozens-escape-brazilian-prison-after-two-women-seduce-drug-g#.hrQe77gpg

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Personal Touch

Posted on February 6, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old star of glam rock/
Whose paedo past came as a shock/
We were all unaware/
As he sang ‘Touch me there’/
& pointed direct at his cock.
///http://www.inquisitr.com/1818933/uk-former-glam-rocker-gary-glitter-convicted-of-child-sex-abuse/

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Troll Patrol

Posted on February 5, 2015 by twitmericks

A top social network big hitter/

Admits that his company Twitter/

Is not on the whole/

So good with a troll/

But sucks, and could hardly be shitter.

///http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/feb/05/twitter-ceo-we-suck-dealing-with-trolls-abuse

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Chopper Whopper

Posted on February 5, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old NBC anchor/

Whose misrecollection caused rancour./

His under-fire chopper/

Exposed as a whopper,/

He ended up looking a wanker.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31143744

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