Cetacean Temptation

Posted on February 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A man who had dolphin relations/
Insists he was groomed by cetaceans/
Especially Dolly/
Who led him to folly/
With rubbing & other flirtations.///

‘I had an affair with a dolphin for a year after it seduced me’

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Taking Liberties

Posted on February 2, 2015 by twitmericks

The overdue freeing of Peter/
Can only be made even sweeter/
If fellows of Greste/
Are not left to fester/
Tweet #FreeAJStaff, every tweeter.///
http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/02/peter-greste-won-give-colleagues-free-150202052338661.html

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The Peter File

Posted on January 31, 2015 by twitmericks

A diplomat getting his kicks/

From looking at paedophile pix/

May suffer disgrace/

But not in the case/

Of agents who serve MI6.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31062904

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Contempt of Court

Posted on January 31, 2015 by twitmericks

A Murray supporter named Kim/
Who backed him with vigour & vim/
Called Berdych ‘flash fuck’/
And gave her man luck -/
The victory going to him.///
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jan/29/andy-murray-kim-sears-swearing-australian-open

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Bones of Contention

Posted on January 29, 2015 by twitmericks

The fate of an old diplodocus/
Has prompted the UK to focus/
Less on its curation/
Than pro-nunciation/
We must all be clean off our rocus!///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-31040334

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Crepe Name

Posted on January 28, 2015 by twitmericks

French law says a woman & fella/
Cannot call their daughter Nutella/
So why not instead/
Of hazelnut spread/
Pick lager, & call the girl Stella?///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30993608

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Master Bates

Posted on January 28, 2015 by twitmericks

A singer named Brown who’s a Manc/
Says sex education was frank/
The teacher would pass/
The boys in his class/
Instructions on just how to wank.///
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/27/fred-talbot-boys-masturbate-ian-brown-court

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Greek Creek

Posted on January 26, 2015 by twitmericks

There was a young radical Greek/

Who made all the Eurocrats freak/

He won the most votes/

By arguing boats/

Need paddles to exit Shit Creek.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30982932

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Vanity Project

Posted on January 25, 2015 by twitmericks

An MEP says he defected/
(Though UKIP declared him ejected)/
As Farage’s vanity/
And members’ insanity/
Somehow weren’t what he expected.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-30967633

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Nothing Succeeds Like Succession

Posted on January 25, 2015 by twitmericks

With royal respect in full swing/
To carp at it isn’t the thing/
Salute the succession/
Ignore the repression/
The king is dead – long live the king.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-30962740

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