The Unbearable Uprightness of Peeing

Posted on January 24, 2015 by twitmericks

A German court moved to dismiss/
Restrictions on how fellows piss/
We needn’t sitzpinkle/
But may stand and sprinkle/
Although it’s a bit hit or miss.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30937492

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Heil and Farewell

Posted on January 22, 2015 by twitmericks

Herr Bachmann has quit as the leader/
Of xenophobe movement Pegida/
For silly old Lutz/
Dressed up, like a klutz,/
As Hitler, his Nazi preceder.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pegida-leader-lutz-bachmann-steps-down-over-hitler-photograph-9993425.html

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Sun Sets On Page 3

Posted on January 20, 2015 by twitmericks

Farewell to page 3 of The Sun/
From now on the paper will run/
Bikini-clad tits/
Which better befits/
The serious news on page one.///
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/19/has-the-sun-axed-page-3-topless-pictures

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Party Poopers

Posted on January 20, 2015 by twitmericks

In Devon a 5-year-old kid/
Did not attend – heaven forbid!/
His friend’s birthday bash/
And so must pay cash -/
The parents demand 16 quid.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/fiveyearold-reportedly-invoiced-15-for-failing-to-turn-up-to-friends-birthday-party-9987217.html

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Inner Pickle

Posted on January 19, 2015 by twitmericks

Communities minister Eric/
Has angered the odd Muslim cleric/
By writing a letter/
To say “could do better”/
Which made them distinctly choleric.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30877447

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The Last Victorian

Posted on January 18, 2015 by twitmericks
There was an old woman who’d been/
Alive with Victoria queen/
Explaining with brevity/
Such great longevity:/
Tea, snooker, dancing. Lived clean.///
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Franc Exchange

Posted on January 16, 2015 by twitmericks

When Switzerland’s National Bank/

Abandoned the cap on the Franc/

The currency soared/

But traders deplored/

The way that their capital shrank.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30829917

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Bush Warfare

Posted on January 15, 2015 by twitmericks

Some OAPs got in a spat in/
The seaside resort of Prestatyn/
A local old-timer/
Cut down next door’s climber/
(Clematis Montana in Latin).///
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11343957/Neighbours-convicted-of-felling-another-mans-clematis.html

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Russian Trans-port Policy

Posted on January 15, 2015 by twitmericks

The Kremlin’s denying it bans/
Vehicular use if you’re trans/
For why interfere/
In who’s in what gear/
Or if parts are woman’s or man’s?///
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/01/14/russia-not-banning-trans-people-from-driving/

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Flaky Fatwa

Posted on January 13, 2015 by twitmericks

A chap in the Kingdom of Saud,/
Who’s hot on religion avowed/
If snow settles, no man/
Must go build a snowman/
The book says it isn’t allowed.///
http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/01/12/us-odd-saudi-snow-idUSKBN0KL15N20150112

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