The Co-op’s Crystal Methodist

Posted on November 19, 2013 by twitmericks
An old crystal methodist bloke/
Was videoed paying for coke./
He practised his lines/
Ignoring the signs/
His bank was effectively broke.
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Crack Becomes Gulf

Posted on November 19, 2013 by twitmericks
A Mayor fond of throwing his weight/
Has likened himself to Kuwait/
Although it is crack/
Not Saddam’s Iraq/
To blame for his war-ravaged state.
 
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Sri Lanka Rancour

Posted on November 16, 2013 by twitmericks

A summit was held in Sri Lanka/

Amid a high level of rancour/

The hosts of the CHOGM/

Saw human rights dog ’em/

With Cameron pulling a flanker.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-24970403

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My Kingdom for a Horseburger!

Posted on November 15, 2013 by twitmericks

The latest celeb to endorse/
The human consumption of horse/
Is dear Princess Anne,/
A showjumping fan/
(She buys hers in Iceland of course).

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24952823

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Little Masterblaster

Posted on November 15, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a lil’ master named Sachin/
Whom many a foe met his matchin’/
Although they may try/
The man from Mumbai/
Set records that take quite some catchin’.////

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-24910411

****

It actually happens surprisingly rarely, but this one where the 140-character Twitter version (see link) felt a bit too squeezed, so I’ve let it breathe a bit more here.

 

 

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The ‘Mare Goes On

Posted on November 14, 2013 by twitmericks

The mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford/
Admits he has recently scored/
The odd bit of junk/
And driven while drunk/
(But still he won’t fall on his sword)

///

http://www.thestar.com/sports/argos/2013/11/14/cfl_reacts_to_rob_ford_in_argos_jersey.html

 

 

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Bacon and Freud Bread

Posted on November 13, 2013 by twitmericks

The sale of a triptych by Bacon/
Has left the art world a bit shaken/
A painting of Freud,/
It duly destroyed/
The record for what one has taken.

///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-24922938

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Old Tat

Posted on November 12, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old broadcaster who/
Decided to get a tattoo/
Upon his right shoulder/
Perhaps when he’s older/
He’ll get his left buttock done too.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24906132

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Cobblers and Cobblestones

Posted on November 11, 2013 by twitmericks

An artist in Moscow stripped bare/
And nailed himself to Red Square/
Impaling his testes/
He said my protest is/

A gesture of global despair.

///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/11/artist-nails-testicles-red-square-pyotr-pavlensky

**Just a few weeks till US release of the book on Dec 1: available for pre-order – http://www.amazon.com/There-Was-Geezer-Called-Caesar/dp/1907554866 **

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They Heat Horses, Don’t They?

Posted on November 10, 2013 by twitmericks

The member for Stratford on Avon/

Insists that he ain’t misbehavin’/

He just wasn’t able/

To notice the stable/

On heating expenses he gave in.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-24887143

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