Sail Fail

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks
Some sailors who came from NZ
Got beaten altho they once led.
The PM said bugger
Let’s just stick to rugger,
Or race someone easy instead.
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How Does He Smell?

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks
There was a young fellow who said
“It isn’t because I’m ill-bred –
I stick up my nose
Because the thing grows
Right out of the top of my head!”
 
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Binding Decision

Posted on September 26, 2013 by twitmericks
A village hall had to decide
On BDSM talks inside.
In rather a bind
Trustees changed their mind –
Their hands, I suspect, being tied.
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Reds Under the Ed

Posted on September 25, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Ed/

Who went down to Brighton and said/

That Bills must be capped/

And bedroom tax scrapped./

Apparently this makes him red.

///http://metro.co.uk/2013/09/24/labour-party-conference-red-ed-miliband-stakes-his-claim-as-pledges-on-energy-and-land-mark-shift-to-left-4104211/

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/382779480500350976

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Biteback Fightback

Posted on September 24, 2013 by twitmericks

A publisher named @IainDale 
Has @DPMcBride‘s book on sale.
He totally knackered
Some old geezer’s placard
By suddenly turning rogue male.

(Apologies to non-Twitter readers for the @signs).

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/willheaven/100237540/photo-iain-dale-fights-a-nuclear-protester-at-labour-conference/

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Close, but no Overall Majority

Posted on September 23, 2013 by twitmericks

Victorious Angela Merkel/

To make her new government work’ll/

Require a deal/

With broader appeal/

Beyond her political circle.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24197994

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Godfrey’s Bloomers

Posted on September 20, 2013 by twitmericks

An old UKIP duffer called Bloom/

Made Farage and company fume,/

The maverick klutz/

Describing as sluts/

The women all round in the room.

///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/sep/20/nigel-farage-godfrey-bloom-sluts-ukip

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/381098356669313024

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Kiss n Tell McBride

Posted on September 20, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an old Labourite spinner/

Who’s owned up to being a sinner./

He smeared & he lied/

Yet @DPMcBride/

Still couldn’t make Gordon a winner.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24171077

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/380988967933341696

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The End is Nigh(ish)

Posted on September 19, 2013 by twitmericks

It’s only a few billion years/

According to scientists’ fears/

Till we move to Mars/

Or seek out new stars/

As our Goldilocks Zone disappears.

///http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/sep/18/forecast-life-on-earth

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/380605021769195520

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Anchor Man

Posted on September 18, 2013 by twitmericks

Nick Clegg told Lib Dems “I’m an anchor/
Tho there’s no political rancour/
My vital position/
In this coalition/
Stops Cameron being a wanker”.///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/liberaldemocrats/10318317/Liberal-Democrats-an-anchor-holding-back-Tories-and-Labour-says-Nick-Clegg.html

**Check out the Book News page for a list of links where you can buy There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks. **

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