Hilary in the Pillory

Posted on February 19, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a writer named Hilary/

Whom newspapers put in the pillory/

A lecture on Kate/

Provoked tabloid hate/

And Cameron’s heavy artillery.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/feb/19/kate-hilary-mantel-duchess-cambridge

 

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IDS Gets a Rocky Ride

Posted on February 18, 2013 by twitmericks

A minister named IDS/

Is getting a rather bad press/

Folks in geology/

Want an apology/

Will he stack shelves as redress?

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2013/feb/18/geologists-iain-duncan-smith-shelf-stacking

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Cameron’s Teenage Kicks

Posted on February 17, 2013 by twitmericks

Cameron hopes One Direction/

Will give him a better election/

(I think that’s the word/

But if I have erred/

I may have to make a collection.)

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21488990

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Hit and Miss?

Posted on February 15, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a big boulder from space/

That scattered all over the place/

And left a big crater;/

Another’s due later- /

Perhaps they were having a race.

///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/2012-da14-a-close-call-for-asteroid-big-enough-to-flatten-london-8496325.html

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Buffett’s Full of Beans

Posted on February 15, 2013 by twitmericks

The billionaire Mr Buffett/

Instructed his money men “Stuff it!/

Invest all my means/

On buying baked beans/

I’ll fart myself daft til I snuff it!”

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21470073

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Checker gets his Pecker in a Twist

Posted on February 14, 2013 by twitmericks

An old rock’n’roller named Chubby/

Says HP has made his name grubby/

Its app Chubby Checker/

Assesses a pecker/

To see if it’s lengthy or stubby.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2013/feb/14/chubby-checker-sues-hewlett-packard

///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/302082157453647874

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Black Bute-y

Posted on February 14, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an old drug known as bute/

For horses whose pain is acute/

It got into meat/

Through human deceit/

Whodunnit is still in dispute.

///http://news.sky.com/story/1052077/horsemeat-bute-found-in-carcasses-in-uk

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Slugs, Sea and Sex

Posted on February 13, 2013 by twitmericks

A slug of the nudibranch genus/

Is able to cast off its penis/

Then grow one at will/

A wonderful skill/

That makes up for said organ’s weeness.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678

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Korea Break

Posted on February 12, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a young fellow named Kim/

Who felt a bit out on a limb/

So he made a big bang/

At a site near Pyongyang/

And got the world looking at him.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21429544

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Phony Pony

Posted on February 11, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was some beef that was phony/

Belatedly found to be pony/

But tho they can ban yer/

From eating lasagne/

Did anyone test cannelloni?

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21406778

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