Mocking Turd

Posted on December 4, 2019 by twitmericks

A sensitive snowflake named Trump/

Made clear he had taken the hump/

At being discussed in/

A huddle by Justin/

And others who think him a chump.///

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cat Flap

Posted on December 2, 2019 by twitmericks

A cat with a prestige address/

Had four months off work due to stress;/

The programme for Palmerston,/

So no further harm is done/

, Involves people petting him less.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Apo’strophe Cata’strophe

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an apostrophe cop/

Who watched every greengrocer’s shop/

For wrong punctuation,/

Whose organisation/

Has come to, alas, a full stop.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Fear Factor

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

When something went bang in the night/

The rest of us woke in a fright;/

For Johnson the fear/

He’ll have to appear/

On Neil is what makes him go white.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Devices or Desires

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

Smart underwear some Germans own/

Can swiftly disable your phone/

Till you and your lover/

Get under the cover,/

Ignore your devices, and bone.///

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/smart-pants-to-make-you-turn-off-your-phone-and-turn-on-your-lover-g97zsrpvx

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1200933320529457153

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Ice won, Boris!

Posted on November 29, 2019 by twitmericks

The Tories gave Johnson advice/
To shun Corbyn, Sturgeon and Price/
And Berry and Swinson,/
For he’s less convincing,/
On climate, than that block of ice.///

#ClimateDebate
#C4ClimateDebate
#C4News
#borisisacoward
#BorisJohnsonIsAMelt

@bendepear
@krishgm

https://t.co/uocXvzJSrc

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Where the Sun don’t Shine

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

A wellness-through-butt-tanning craze/
Has led to unseemly displays:/
You lie back and splay ’em,/
A warm perineum/
Thus soaking up health-giving rays.///

https://t.co/4yKAdtzBFu

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Moo-trix

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

With bovine-adapted VR
Cows mentally wander afar
To pastures much lusher
Than cowsheds inRussia
(In physical terms, where they are).

https://t.co/y0cpjc1m6R

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Lam Bested

Posted on November 25, 2019 by twitmericks

The people in charge in Hong Kong,/

Perceived to have handled things wrong,/

Lost out in a vote/

From which one may note/

Support for democracy’s strong.///

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1198935334337306629

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Truck-up

Posted on November 22, 2019 by twitmericks

To test his unbreakable truck,
Musk called on a punter to chuck
Steel balls at the glass,
Which didn’t quite pass –
It shattered the minute they struck.

https://t.co/0T4JeJKzWE

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment