Apo’strophe Cata’strophe

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an apostrophe cop/

Who watched every greengrocer’s shop/

For wrong punctuation,/

Whose organisation/

Has come to, alas, a full stop.///

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Fear Factor

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

When something went bang in the night/

The rest of us woke in a fright;/

For Johnson the fear/

He’ll have to appear/

On Neil is what makes him go white.///

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Devices or Desires

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

Smart underwear some Germans own/

Can swiftly disable your phone/

Till you and your lover/

Get under the cover,/

Ignore your devices, and bone.///

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/smart-pants-to-make-you-turn-off-your-phone-and-turn-on-your-lover-g97zsrpvx

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1200933320529457153

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Ice won, Boris!

Posted on November 29, 2019 by twitmericks

The Tories gave Johnson advice/
To shun Corbyn, Sturgeon and Price/
And Berry and Swinson,/
For he’s less convincing,/
On climate, than that block of ice.///

#ClimateDebate
#C4ClimateDebate
#C4News
#borisisacoward
#BorisJohnsonIsAMelt

@bendepear
@krishgm

https://t.co/uocXvzJSrc

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Where the Sun don’t Shine

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

A wellness-through-butt-tanning craze/
Has led to unseemly displays:/
You lie back and splay ’em,/
A warm perineum/
Thus soaking up health-giving rays.///

https://t.co/4yKAdtzBFu

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The Moo-trix

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

With bovine-adapted VR
Cows mentally wander afar
To pastures much lusher
Than cowsheds inRussia
(In physical terms, where they are).

https://t.co/y0cpjc1m6R

 

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Lam Bested

Posted on November 25, 2019 by twitmericks

The people in charge in Hong Kong,/

Perceived to have handled things wrong,/

Lost out in a vote/

From which one may note/

Support for democracy’s strong.///

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1198935334337306629

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Truck-up

Posted on November 22, 2019 by twitmericks

To test his unbreakable truck,
Musk called on a punter to chuck
Steel balls at the glass,
Which didn’t quite pass –
It shattered the minute they struck.

https://t.co/0T4JeJKzWE

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Side by Side by Sondland

Posted on November 20, 2019 by twitmericks

An envoy beyond US borders/

When asked if Zelensky-rewarders/

Had offered a quid/

Pro quo, said they did:/

“We followed the President’s orders”.///

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1197239640715075584

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Don’t Vex Your Ex

Posted on November 19, 2019 by twitmericks

The PM’s old flame, Ms Arcuri/

Says Johnson had better make shuri/

Picks up her next call,/

Or else she’ll tell all,/

For hell, as they say, hath no furi.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50458461

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1196707056268566528

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