Monthly Archives: November 2014

An Upstanding Member

Posted on November 30, 2014 by twitmericks

I bring you a cock and bull story/ Of how Penny Mordaunt, a Tory/ Discussed poultry flocks,/ Inserting some cocks/ And causing a minor furore./// http://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/tory-mp-penny-mordaunt-smutty-cock-commons-speech-dare-9893411.html I bring you a cock and bull storyOf how Penny Mordaunt, a ToryDiscussed poultry … Continue reading →

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Trouble in Store

Posted on November 28, 2014 by twitmericks

Black Friday’s a day in the year When retailing norms disappear & legions of coppers Police angry shoppers For flatscreen TVs are less dear. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30241459 Black Friday's a day in the yearWhen retailing norms disappear& legions of coppersPolice angry shoppersFor … Continue reading →

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Tory Turns the Air Blue

Posted on November 27, 2014 by twitmericks

Ex-cabinet minister Mellor/ Berated a cab-driving feller/ In language most rude/ From which we conclude/ He’d sampled Her Majesty’s cellar./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/david-mellor-under-pressure-to-apologise-to-the-cabbie-he-called-a-smartarsed-little-b-9882960.html Ex-cabinet minister MellorBerated a cab-driving fellerIn language most rudeFrom which we concludeHe'd sampled Her Majesty's cellar. — Mick Twister … Continue reading →

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St Louis Blues

Posted on November 25, 2014 by twitmericks

The news that a cop in Missouri/ Is not to be charged by a jury/ For having shot down/ Unarmed Michael Brown/ Has led to explosions of fury./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-30190224 The news that a cop in MissouriIs not to be charged by … Continue reading →

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Crappy Christmas

Posted on November 24, 2014 by twitmericks

A Christmas fair crafted by Laurence/ Was shut amid public abhorrence/ The grotto was crappy/ The children unhappy/ And rain kept on falling in torrents./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/laurence-llewelynbowens-christmas-attraction-closes-children-leave-in-tears-after-father-christmas-caught-smoking-and-drinking-9878594.html A Xmas fair crafted by LaurenceWas shut amid public abhorrenceThe grotto was crappyThe children … Continue reading →

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Medway Headway

Posted on November 21, 2014 by twitmericks

The Strood by-election in Kent/ Solidified UKIP’s ascent,/ Farage making headway/ In towns on the Medway,/ Which Cameron swore to prevent./// http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/c77d2ccc-7138-11e4-8113-00144feabdc0.html#slide0 The Strood by-election in KentSolidified #UKIP's ascent,Farage making headwayIn towns on the Medway,Which Cameron swore to prevent. — … Continue reading →

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Charm Offensive

Posted on November 19, 2014 by twitmericks

Old Julien Blanc was a geezer/ Who taught with a woman you please ‘er/ By twisting her arm./ Resisting his charm,/ The UK refused him a visa./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30119100 Old Julien Blanc was a geezerWho taught with a woman you please … Continue reading →

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Marley’s Ghost

Posted on November 19, 2014 by twitmericks

Bob Marley of Kingston, Jamaica,/ A serious cannabis-taker/ Will now be a brand/ As weed gets unbanned/ Becoming a big money-maker./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-30110235 #BobMarley of Kingston, Jamaica,A serious cannabis-takerWill now be a brandAs weed gets unbannedBecoming a big money-maker. — Mick … Continue reading →

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Abbott Shirt-fronts Koala

Posted on November 16, 2014 by twitmericks

The annual G20 gala/ Was in Tony Abbott’s back parlour/ Where far from disputin’/ With Vladimir Putin/ The two men embraced a koala./// http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/prime-minister-tony-abbott-and-russian-president-vladimir-putin-paws-for-a-cuddle-during-g20/story-fni0cx12-1227124291019 The annual G20 galaWas in Tony Abbott's back parlourWhere far from disputin'With Vladimir PutinThe two men … Continue reading →

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Bottoms Up!

Posted on November 15, 2014 by twitmericks

A TV celeb known as Kim/ Whose bottom is big, though she’s slim/ Positioned a glass/ Upon the said ass*/ And filled it right up to the brim./// *Substitute arse if that works better for your pronunciation – I figured … Continue reading →

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