Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Flatulent Cattle

Posted on January 28, 2014 by twitmericks

A cow shed explosion was started/ When 90-odd cattle all farted/ A tiny spark lit/ Their gasified shit/ And half of the roof then departed./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/ninety-flatulent-cows-start-fire-at-dairy-farm-in-germany-9089801.html A cow shed explosion was startedWhen 90-odd cattle all fartedA tiny spark litTheir gasified … Continue reading →

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Pecking Order

Posted on January 27, 2014 by twitmericks

There once was a beautiful dove/ A symbol of peace and of love/ Released by the Pope/ To give us all hope/ (Then dive-bombed by crows from above). ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/popes-white-doves-of-peace-attacked-by-gull-and-crow-after-being-released-over-st-peters-square-9086285.html There once was a beautiful doveA symbol of peace and of … Continue reading →

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There Was an (Extremely) Old Man

Posted on January 27, 2014 by twitmericks

Examining bones, prehistoric/ The experts are quite categoric:/ Dark, blue-eyed and hairy/ With no starch or dairy./ Alas, poor intolerant Yorick. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25885519 Examining bones, prehistoricThe experts are quite categoric:Dark, blue-eyed and hairyWith no starch or dairyAlas poor intolerant Yorick. — … Continue reading →

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French Leave

Posted on January 26, 2014 by twitmericks

President Francois of France/ Has ended his former romance/ He hopes his old flame/ Won’t blacken his name/ Which seems to be taking a chance. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25895263 President Francois of FranceHas ended his former romanceHe hopes his old flameWon't blacken his … Continue reading →

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School’s Out For Ever

Posted on January 26, 2014 by twitmericks

A boy and a girl escaped school/ Defying its every rule/ And flew somewhere sunny/ On mum and dad’s money./ Their parents did not find this cool. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/centralamericaandthecaribbean/dominicanrepublic/10596607/Stonyhurst-College-runaway-tells-her-father-she-had-to-escape-hell-school.html A boy and a girl escaped schoolDefiant of every ruleAnd flew somewhere … Continue reading →

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Bustin’ Justin

Posted on January 23, 2014 by twitmericks

A teenage Canadian guy/ Was picked up and charged DUI,/ Miami cops bustin’/ The fun-lovin’ Justin/  For racing his sports car while high. /// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25863200 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/426411594252156928

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Hancock Lives Up to His Name

Posted on January 23, 2014 by twitmericks

A Lib Dem is under suspension/ For unwanted sexual attention/ The upstanding member/ Denies, let’s remember/ The case’s main bone of contention. ///http://order-order.com/2014/01/22/the-mike-hancock-report-that-the-libdems-hid/ A Lib Dem is under suspensionFor unwanted sexual attentionThe upstanding memberDenies, let's rememberThe case's main bone of … Continue reading →

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For Quenelle Anelka!

Posted on January 21, 2014 by twitmericks

There once was a dodgy salute/ That landed West Brom in dispute/ Because of a feller/ Who did the quenelle/ The club sponsors gave them the boot./// http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/zoopla-announce-they-will-end-sponsorship-of-west-brom-following-nicolas-anelka-quenelle-gesture-9072633.html  There once was a dodgy saluteThat landed West Brom in disputeBecause of … Continue reading →

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Lord Rennard of Feltham

Posted on January 20, 2014 by twitmericks

A Liberal Democrat Lord/ Is adding to party discord/ And causing Nick worry/ By not saying sorry/ To those he’s alleged to have pawed. ///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/jan/20/lord-rennard-row-regret-but-no-apology-lib-dem https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/425307655515566080 (NB apologies to those for whom lorrrrd does not rhyme with pawwwed. Here is … Continue reading →

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Barmy Weather

Posted on January 19, 2014 by twitmericks

A Ukipper blamed recent storms/ On straying from sexual norms/ The flooding will end/ He seems to contend/ If every last bugger conforms. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25802437 A Ukipper blamed recent stormsOn straying from sexual normsThe flooding will endHe seems to contendIf every … Continue reading →

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