Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Hollande the Grande

Posted on February 2, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow in France/ Who took a belligerent stance/ He sent in the troops/ To beat rebel groups/ Then flew in to cheer their advance. ///http://www.euronews.com/2013/02/02/president-hollande-arrives-in-mali-to-back-french-troops/ There was an old fellow in France/Who took a belligerent stance/He … Continue reading →

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Groundhog Day All Over Again

Posted on February 2, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a groundhog named Phil/ With meteorological skill/ He’s in Punxsutawney/ And though it is corny/ He didn’t predict a long chill.* ///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/02/02/us-usa-pennsylvania-groundhog-idUKBRE91106X20130202 There once was a groundhog named Phil/With meteorological skill/He's in Punxsutawney/And though it is corny/He … Continue reading →

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An Unfair Cop

Posted on February 1, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a top woman copper/ Who sadly has now come a cropper/ They sent her to jail/ Over info for sale/ Such conduct considered improper. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21292338 ///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/297384371453820928

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Moby Sick

Posted on January 31, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man with a stick/ Who found a big dollop of sick/ He’ll make money from it/ Because it’s whale vomit/ Egested by old Moby Dick. ///http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4771055/Man-discovers-whale-vomit-worth-100000-on-Morecambe-beach.html There was an old man with a stick/Who found a … Continue reading →

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Nuclear Options

Posted on January 31, 2013 by twitmericks

The Cumbrians haven’t embraced/ The storage of nuclear waste/ The government now/ Has no idea how/ To find somewhere it can be placed. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-21253673 The Cumbrians haven't embraced/The storage of nuclear waste/The government now/Has no idea how/To find somewhere it … Continue reading →

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First Bloke’s Bum Joke

Posted on January 30, 2013 by twitmericks

Tim Mathieson, Aussie First Bloke/ Got fingered for making a joke/ Concerning a proctal/ And which kinda doctor’ll/ Give the best digital poke. ///http://t.co/kGjraWfz Tim Mathieson, Aussie First Bloke/Got fingered for making a joke/Concerning a proctal/And which kinda doctor'll/Give the … Continue reading →

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Major Tom’s a Monkey

Posted on January 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a simian Persian/ Got sent on a rocket excursion/ The poor monkey’s face/ Suggested that space/ Produced a degree of aversion. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-21230691 There once was a simian Persian/Got sent on a rocket excursion/The poor monkey's face/Suggested that … Continue reading →

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Pass the Duce

Posted on January 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old chap, Berlusconi/ Who never stopped talking baloney/ Old Musso, he said/ Was simply misled/ By Hitler, his powerful crony. ///http://news.sky.com/story/1043662/berlusconi-defends-dictator-mussolini

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For Auld Rabbie

Posted on January 25, 2013 by twitmericks

Thaur was an auld fellow named Rabbie/ His poetry was unco grabby/ His verses sae sweet/ Wi’ rhyming sae neat/ An scansion ye cannae call flabby. (This Burns night limerick was prompted by the excellent stream of Burns-inspired twitter poetry … Continue reading →

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Crocs Away!

Posted on January 25, 2013 by twitmericks

There were some South African crocs/ About 15,000 approx/ Who escaped from a farm/ Causing humans alarm/ Though for them, opportunity knocks. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21178793 There were some South African crocs/About 15,000 approx/Who escaped from a farm/Causing humans alarm/Though for them, opportunity … Continue reading →

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