Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Apo’strophe Cata’strophe

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an apostrophe cop/ Who watched every greengrocer’s shop/ For wrong punctuation,/ Whose organisation/ Has come to, alas, a full stop./// There was an apostrophe copWho watched every greengrocer's shopFor wrong punctuation,Whose organisationHas come to, alas, a full stop.#apostrophe … Continue reading →

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Fear Factor

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

When something went bang in the night/ The rest of us woke in a fright;/ For Johnson the fear/ He’ll have to appear/ On Neil is what makes him go white./// When something went bang in the nightThe rest of … Continue reading →

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Devices or Desires

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

Smart underwear some Germans own/ Can swiftly disable your phone/ Till you and your lover/ Get under the cover,/ Ignore your devices, and bone./// https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/smart-pants-to-make-you-turn-off-your-phone-and-turn-on-your-lover-g97zsrpvx https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1200933320529457153

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Ice won, Boris!

Posted on November 29, 2019 by twitmericks

The Tories gave Johnson advice/ To shun Corbyn, Sturgeon and Price/ And Berry and Swinson,/ For he’s less convincing,/ On climate, than that block of ice./// #ClimateDebate #C4ClimateDebate #C4News #borisisacoward #BorisJohnsonIsAMelt @bendepear @krishgm https://t.co/uocXvzJSrc

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Where the Sun don’t Shine

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

A wellness-through-butt-tanning craze/ Has led to unseemly displays:/ You lie back and splay ’em,/ A warm perineum/ Thus soaking up health-giving rays./// https://t.co/4yKAdtzBFu

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The Moo-trix

Posted on November 28, 2019 by twitmericks

With bovine-adapted VR Cows mentally wander afar To pastures much lusher Than cowsheds inRussia (In physical terms, where they are). https://t.co/y0cpjc1m6R  

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Lam Bested

Posted on November 25, 2019 by twitmericks

The people in charge in Hong Kong,/ Perceived to have handled things wrong,/ Lost out in a vote/ From which one may note/ Support for democracy’s strong./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1198935334337306629

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Truck-up

Posted on November 22, 2019 by twitmericks

To test his unbreakable truck, Musk called on a punter to chuck Steel balls at the glass, Which didn’t quite pass – It shattered the minute they struck. https://t.co/0T4JeJKzWE

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Side by Side by Sondland

Posted on November 20, 2019 by twitmericks

An envoy beyond US borders/ When asked if Zelensky-rewarders/ Had offered a quid/ Pro quo, said they did:/ “We followed the President’s orders”./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1197239640715075584

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Don’t Vex Your Ex

Posted on November 19, 2019 by twitmericks

The PM’s old flame, Ms Arcuri/ Says Johnson had better make shuri/ Picks up her next call,/ Or else she’ll tell all,/ For hell, as they say, hath no furi./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50458461 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1196707056268566528

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