Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Horn of plenty

Posted on December 14, 2019 by twitmericks

Some worms that washed up on the shore near/ A place called Drakes Beach, California/ Of Urechis genus/ Resemble a penis/ And eaten, it’s said, make you hornier./// Some worms that washed up on the shore nearA place called Drakes … Continue reading →

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Tory Story

Posted on December 13, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Boris the Brexiteer Tory/ Has carried his party to glory/ And now calls the shots,/ Although for the Scots/ The poll told a different story./// Old Boris the Brexiteer ToryHas carried his party to gloryAnd now calls the shots,Although … Continue reading →

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Jeez, We Can’t!

Posted on December 13, 2019 by twitmericks

Responding to Thursday’s election/ With calls for some time for reflection,/ A leader named Corbyn/ Is slowly absorbing/ The scale of the voters’ rejection./// Responding to Thursday's electionWith calls for some time for reflection,A leader named CorbynIs slowly absorbing The … Continue reading →

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Present Perfect

Posted on December 11, 2019 by twitmericks

For those seeking gifts for Noel Which retailers globally sell, A limerick history With rhymes that are Twistery Normally goes down quite well. https://t.co/fyTC38Zaq1 https://t.co/lsDtSi5AIK #christmasgiftsideas #giftidea #christmaspresent #presents

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Cold Comfort

Posted on December 11, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Boris, when things get too hot’ll/ Escape from the scene at full throttle;/ The member for Uxbridge/ Ran into a truck’s fridge/ With milk in, to look for his bottle./// #BorisTheCoward #Boris #generalerection #GeneralElection2019 #Election2019 https://t.co/iyBnCX7vxs

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A Narrow Squeak

Posted on December 10, 2019 by twitmericks

A runaway pig known as Biscuit,/ Who rashly decided to risk it,/ And thought he would try/ A resto nearby,/ Avoided becoming pork brisket./// A runaway pig known as Biscuit,Who rashly decided to risk it,And thought he would tryA resto … Continue reading →

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Crisis, what crisis?

Posted on December 9, 2019 by twitmericks

When Boris de Pfeffel was shown/ How healthcare’s been stripped to the bone,/ He tried to ignore / The boy on the floor/ By swiping a journalist’s phone./// #boris #Johnson #NHS #SaveOurNHS #GE19 #GeneralElection #GeneralElection19 https://t.co/2OSICehKw5

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Banana Drama

Posted on December 8, 2019 by twitmericks

A piece of fruit taped to a wall/ Has brought in a six-figure haul,/ A sum no banana/ Was able to garner/ When sold on a greengrocer’s stall./// A piece of fruit taped to a wallHas brought in a six-figure … Continue reading →

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Mocking Turd

Posted on December 4, 2019 by twitmericks

A sensitive snowflake named Trump/ Made clear he had taken the hump/ At being discussed in/ A huddle by Justin/ And others who think him a chump./// A sensitive snowflake named TrumpMade clear he had taken the humpAt being discussed … Continue reading →

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Cat Flap

Posted on December 2, 2019 by twitmericks

A cat with a prestige address/ Had four months off work due to stress;/ The programme for Palmerston,/ So no further harm is done/ , Involves people petting him less./// A cat with a prestige addressHad four months off work … Continue reading →

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