Retailer shopped

Posted on October 26, 2018 by twitmericks

The business tycoon Philip Green/

Paid lawyers to keep his name clean/

But now he’s been thwarted,/

It can be reported/

It’s not just his wealth that’s obscene.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-45981436

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Cack-handed cover-up

Posted on October 24, 2018 by twitmericks

There was an old man of the West/

Who said “I am most unimpressed -/

These fellows from Saudi,/

Their cover-up’s lousy!/

My cover-ups? Those are the best!”///

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Pooing plastic

Posted on October 23, 2018 by twitmericks

Researchers examining theses/

About the effect on our species/

Of small bits of plastic/

Say things are so drastic,/

They’re even polluting our faeces.///

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Accursed judge

Posted on October 21, 2018 by twitmericks

The witches of Brooklyn are here,/

And Kavanaugh’s quaking with fear/

They’ll give him a hex/

That shrivels his sex/

Or worse, makes him stop liking beer.///

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Mohammed’s BS

Posted on October 20, 2018 by twitmericks

The Saudi Crown Prince MBS/

Has ordered some aides to confess/

And shoulder the blame/

To clear his own name,/

But everyone knows it’s BS.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/oct/19/jamal-khashoggi-saudi-prince-under-pressure-to-blame-general-for-presumed-death

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Shitshow loses fan

Posted on October 19, 2018 by twitmericks

When Johnny, a Tory MP/

Declares party leaders to be/

A shit show of note/

For whom not to vote,/

It’s difficult not to agree.///

 

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Scarf and muff

Posted on October 16, 2018 by twitmericks

A luxury fashion designer/

Thought no fur-trimmed shawl could be finer/

Than one with pink flaps/

But some think perhaps/

It looks like a giant vagina.///

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Money talks

Posted on October 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Trump’s line on Khashoggi is: “Shucks,/

Our Saudi pals spend some big bucks,/

So though it looks murky,/

What happened in Turkey,/

The truth is I give zero fucks”.///

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Mucky as Commons

Posted on October 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Oh pity the people who clean/

The building where MPs have been,/

Removing stuff from it/

Like condoms and vomit/

And other things still more obscene.///

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Fatal passion

Posted on October 12, 2018 by twitmericks

Maurizio ‘Zanza’ Zanfanti/

Aged 62, died in flagrante./

Asked whether he passed/

From shagging too fast/

His lover said, ‘No, twas andante!’///

Been away for a week, so just updating the blog with some from the last few days. This was a gift of a story, and this one with its punchline is a bit like a (very tame!) limerick from the lewd school, I feel.

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