Don’t be Stingy

Posted on January 23, 2016 by twitmericks
A very big firm making stacks/
Found HMRC rather lax/
Now bosses at Google/
Who’ve long been so frugal/
Have kindly agreed to pay tax.///
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Blunt Truth

Posted on January 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A Tory MP who takes poppers/

Said this is no matter for coppers/

‘Twould be an affront/

Declared Crispin Blunt/

To demonise lawful drug shoppers.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-35363865

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Tennis Racket

Posted on January 18, 2016 by twitmericks

A BBC/BuzzFeed report/

Alleges match-fixing in sport -/

A big tennis racket/

That’s making a packet./

The ball’s in the ATP’s court.///

http://www.buzzfeed.com/heidiblake/the-tennis-racket#.kiP8a77lJz

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Clerical Clampdown

Posted on January 15, 2016 by twitmericks

A meeting of primates in Kent/

Agreed that the way to prevent/

A permanent schism/

In Anglicanism/

Is crushing gay-friendly dissent.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35318392

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Rock & Roll Star Man

Posted on January 11, 2016 by twitmericks

Now planet earth really is blue/

There’s nothing at all we can do/

No more life on Mars/

And all of the stars/

Look different today without you.///

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jan/11/david-bowie-dies-at-the-age-of-69

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From Penn to the Pen

Posted on January 10, 2016 by twitmericks

A runaway drug cartel czar/
Did not get away very far;/
He’s back in the slammer/
In spite of the glamour/
Of meeting a Hollywood star.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35276894

 

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Signature Penis

Posted on January 9, 2016 by twitmericks
A legal fight ended in failure/
For Jared of Melbourne Australia/
The issue was can cocks/
Be used as John Hancocks?/
The ruling is no genitalia.///
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Booze Taboos

Posted on January 8, 2016 by twitmericks

Advisers on alcohol think/

That every unit you sink/

Of beer, wine or whisky/

Is terribly risky/

(Of course they themselves never drink).///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35255384

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Making Twitter Shitter

Posted on January 6, 2016 by twitmericks

The beauty of writing a tweet/

Comes down to its being petite/

10,000 chars long/

Is quite simply wrong/

Like a poem with too many bloody feet*.///

http://recode.net/2016/01/05/twitter-considering-10000-character-limit-for-tweets/

*As I’m sure you all realise, there are too many syllables in this line. This is deliberate.

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Zid Just Got Real

Posted on January 5, 2016 by twitmericks

The bosses at Real Madrid/

Have opted for Zinedine Zid/

To be the new gaffer/

Replacing poor Rafa/

Of whom they abruptly got rid.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/35226296

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