Trouble in Store

Posted on November 28, 2014 by twitmericks

Black Friday’s a day in the year
When retailing norms disappear
& legions of coppers
Police angry shoppers
For flatscreen TVs are less dear.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30241459

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Tory Turns the Air Blue

Posted on November 27, 2014 by twitmericks

Ex-cabinet minister Mellor/

Berated a cab-driving feller/

In language most rude/

From which we conclude/

He’d sampled Her Majesty’s cellar.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/david-mellor-under-pressure-to-apologise-to-the-cabbie-he-called-a-smartarsed-little-b-9882960.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

St Louis Blues

Posted on November 25, 2014 by twitmericks

The news that a cop in Missouri/

Is not to be charged by a jury/

For having shot down/

Unarmed Michael Brown/

Has led to explosions of fury.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-30190224

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Crappy Christmas

Posted on November 24, 2014 by twitmericks

A Christmas fair crafted by Laurence/
Was shut amid public abhorrence/
The grotto was crappy/
The children unhappy/
And rain kept on falling in torrents.///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/laurence-llewelynbowens-christmas-attraction-closes-children-leave-in-tears-after-father-christmas-caught-smoking-and-drinking-9878594.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Medway Headway

Posted on November 21, 2014 by twitmericks

The Strood by-election in Kent/
Solidified UKIP’s ascent,/
Farage making headway/
In towns on the Medway,/
Which Cameron swore to prevent.///
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/c77d2ccc-7138-11e4-8113-00144feabdc0.html#slide0

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Charm Offensive

Posted on November 19, 2014 by twitmericks

Old Julien Blanc was a geezer/
Who taught with a woman you please ‘er/
By twisting her arm./
Resisting his charm,/
The UK refused him a visa.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30119100

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Marley’s Ghost

Posted on November 19, 2014 by twitmericks

Bob Marley of Kingston, Jamaica,/
A serious cannabis-taker/
Will now be a brand/
As weed gets unbanned/
Becoming a big money-maker.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-30110235

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Abbott Shirt-fronts Koala

Posted on November 16, 2014 by twitmericks

The annual G20 gala/
Was in Tony Abbott’s back parlour/
Where far from disputin’/
With Vladimir Putin/
The two men embraced a koala.///
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/prime-minister-tony-abbott-and-russian-president-vladimir-putin-paws-for-a-cuddle-during-g20/story-fni0cx12-1227124291019

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Bottoms Up!

Posted on November 15, 2014 by twitmericks

A TV celeb known as Kim/
Whose bottom is big, though she’s slim/
Positioned a glass/
Upon the said ass*/
And filled it right up to the brim.///

*Substitute arse if that works better for your pronunciation – I figured this version would work for north Britons and North Americans, even if I’d normally go with arse myself.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/kim-kardashians-naked-pictures-compared-to-man-walking-on-moon-and-mandelas-release-from-prison-by-piers-morgan-9860502.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

FIFA Madness

Posted on November 14, 2014 by twitmericks

Tho FIFA says nothing’s the matter/
With bidding by Russia and Qatar/
That’s not the idea/
Of Michael Garcia/
Creating a problem for Blatter.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/30042309

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment