Effing Ref

Posted on October 29, 2012 by twitmericks

A football team known as the Blues/

Whose captain’s been known to abuse/

& use the odd eff/

Accuses the ref/

Whose sending-offs helped it to lose.

///http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/ref-clattenburg-will-be-sacked-if-he-racially-abused-mikel-says-jeff-winter-8230274.html

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A Touch Obvious

Posted on October 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old star of glam rock/

Whose arrest isn’t too big a shock/

As he sang Touch Me There/

Mr G, to be fair/

Always pointed direct at his (Twitter 140-character limit reached).

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20114378

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Life is for Quitters

Posted on October 27, 2012 by twitmericks

Advice about health in the Lancet/

Is giving up fags may enhance it/

So women who quit/

Are more often fit/

You might be OK, but why chance it?

///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9637527/Women-who-quit-smoking-by-40-can-live-an-extra-decade.html

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Conviction Politician

Posted on October 26, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Milan/

Who was given 4 years in the can/

He fiddled his tax/

And covered his tracks/

Till one day the shit hit the fan.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20102215

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The Rich Get Richer (And The Poor Get Children)

Posted on October 26, 2012 by twitmericks

The fellow they call IDS/

Says poor people ought to breed less/

Gotta earn a few quid/

Before having a kid/

(Or send them up chimneys, I guess).

///The fellow they call IDS/Says poor people ought to breed less/Gotta earn a few quid/Before having a kid/(Or send them up chimneys, I guess).

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Trump Card

Posted on October 25, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old fellow named Trump/

Apparently quite off his chump/

He’s offering piles/

For Obama’s old files/

To help Romney out on the stump.

///http://news.sky.com/story/1002207/trump-5m-for-obamas-school-travel-records

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Bettison Jettisoned (again)

Posted on October 25, 2012 by twitmericks

A Yorkshireman known as Sir Norman/

Has handed his pass to the doorman/

He misled reporters/

By blaming supporters/

So quit as a senior lawman.

///http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2012/10/25/norman-bettison-finally-resigns-over-hillsborough-allegations-after-weeks-of-pressure-100252-32099851/

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Black and White vs Culler

Posted on October 24, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old badger named Brock/

Convicted of damaging stock/

Tho sentenced to death/

He lives to draw breath/

Rescued for now by the clock.

///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/9627975/Badger-cull-delayed-as-minister-blames-weather-and-Olympics.html

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Horses (& Bayonets) for Courses

Posted on October 23, 2012 by twitmericks

Republican Mitt told Barack/

America suffered a lack/

Of ships for its forces./

Barack replied horses/

And bayonets too had dropped back.

///http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/romney-saddled-with-horses-and-bayonets-meme/2012/10/23/7c340d3c-1d14-11e2-b647-bb1668e64058_blog.html

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Morgan’s Organ Trouble

Posted on October 23, 2012 by twitmericks

An ex-Mirror editor, Piers/

Has been a bit naughty, one hears/

It’s alleged that his organ/

Hacked phones under Morgan/

I fear it’ll all end in tears.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20036822

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