twitmericks

To mark a year of Twitmericks, here are some highlights:

MAY 2011

Mr X has had zero compunction

In taking a superinjunction.

It bars me from saying

Whose part X was playing

Or describing the bodily function.

—-

The violent death of Osama

Was ordered by Barack Obama

But some say the leader

Behind al Qaeda

Had his dogma knocked down by his karma.

JUNE 2011

The Mediterranean diet

Is austerity, tear gas and riot

As lines of police

Charge protesters in Greece

Causing pan-European disquiet.

—

I fear that a blogger called Tom

Has faked who he is, and where from

He can’t as he says be an

Arabic lesbian

And a heterosexual Scots homme.

JULY 2011

A cynical liar named James

Fires the poor suckers he blames

I hope all the hacks

Mr Murdoch now sacks

Blow the whistle & start naming names.

—

In Wimbledon there was a bit of a

Surprise win for Ms Petra Kvitova

She launched her career

By taking Maria

Sharapova & making a tit of ‘er.

AUGUST 2011

The riots in London don’t stem

From the tensions of us against them

Forget sociology

Blame the technology

Twitter, FB, BBM.

—

Galliano, big cheese in design

Got a 6,000-odd Euro fine

For race-hate to Jews

Which he blamed on the booze

(An unusual reaction to wine).

SEPTEMBER 2011

A serial shagger from France

Was accused as we all looked askance

Now DSK’s sorry

But his no. 1 worry

Is he screwed his political chance.

—

REM’s rock n roll poet

Who’s aging & starting to show it

Split the band up online

And tho I feel fine

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

OCTOBER 2011

Libya’s modern-day Caesar

Was laid on a slab in a freezer

His power stripped bare

No more glad-handing Blair

or making eyes at Condoleezza.

——–

Pseudo-Fox aide Adam Werritty

Acted the part with dexterity

But it takes cash to fly

Every month to Dubai

So who was behind his prosperity?

NOVEMBER 2011

There is an old man from Milan

Who’s hung on as long as he can

But now every last crony

Has ditched Berlusconi

His political life’s down the pan.

—

That funny old man Mr Blatter

Says racist abuse doesn’t matter

Shake hands, it’s a game

Nobody’s to blame

But fans want his head on a platter.

DECEMBER 2011

Cameron‘s shock intervention

At last week’s big EU convention

May not have been driven

By reasons he’s given

But rather by urine retention.

—

So long Mr Christopher Hitchens

A writer of fervent convictions

He drank & he smoked

As he argued & joked

Verbal combat among his addictions.

JANUARY 2012

A man was arrested this week

For possession of Saddam’s butt-cheek

He said: “It’s a farce/

It’s only an arse

I’m on a bum rap, so to speak”.

—

A once noble Knight named Sir Fred

Minus title, is just Fred the Shred

Liz took it away

& back in the day

She might’ve said “Orf With His Head!”.

FEBRUARY 2012

There once was a very old horse

Who after some years in the force

Was lent to Ms Brooks

Who had cops on the books

A fact unrelated of course.

—

The energy minister Chris

When living in conjugal bliss

Gave his points to his wife.

Due to marital strife

He must pay now for being remiss.

MARCH 2012

There once was a man with a tax

Which he levied on takeaway snacks

But only when warm

It’s a half-baked reform

That apparently nobody backs.

—

There once was an old rutting chimp

Now suspected of being a pimp

To his lawyer it’s just

Poor old DSK’s lust

An excuse many find a bit limp.

APRIL 2012

Peace envoy Kofi Annan

Had what he believed was a plan

But he may have been had

By Bashar Assad

Who’s rather a devious man.

—

The special adviser, or SPAD

Is a highly expendable lad

Who will carry the can

When the shit hits the fan

So the minister doesn’t look bad.

MAY 2012

The UK election for mayors

Is a curious state of affairs

With odd little stories

Where Lib Dems & Tories

Get beaten by penguins & bears.

—

A great many eras ago

According to those in the know

A dinosaur farted

And climate change started.

Now that was a serious blow.

There was an old fellow named Lear/

Now marking his 200th year/

And so, since last May/

I have tweeted, each day/

A series of limericks here.

A year ago, when I first had the idea of writing news limericks on Twitter, I first searched to see if anyone else was doing it, and only then discovered that May 12th was World Limerick Day. It was, in fact, Edward Lear’s 199th birthday, at which point I decided to see if I could keep it going until the 200th.

The limerick had been around for centuries by the time Lear came along, but more spoken than written, and generally rude – the kind of verse that could be recited in the pub by those without power, to poke fun at the bosses, the clergy and the aristocracy.

Lear popularised the limerick in his Book Of Nonsense and More Nonsense (of which I have an old, battered, hardback family copy). But his absurd but clean verses were not typical of the form. The repetition of the  first line in the last makes it easier, as you don’t need to find a third rhyme, but throws away the opportunity for a punchline.

So although twitmericks don’t, as a rule, rely on bawdy humour (the Bishop of  Buckingham and Jeremy Hunt being irresistible exceptions) I see them as a continuation of the oral tradition of the limerick, as an easily memorable verse that takes the piss out of the powerful.

That, of course, is something for which social media, especially Twitter, are now providing a useful forum. And certainly, looking back over the year, the most popular twitmericks have been those lampooning, the Murdochs, Berlusconi, etc.

Many people have expressed surprise that it’s possible to fit a limerick in a tweet. But though I sometimes have to resort to abbreviations or & signs, it really can be done. Only rarely to I expand the blog version by a few characters to undo a compromise from the Twitter version.

And indeed, I’ve discovered over the last year that there is a community of us. Not all try to compress the limerick into a tweet, but @LimericksEcon in the New York and @TheLimerickKing in Canada both rhyme on mainly economic news, while @limerickreview in Australia writes film reviews.

Twitmericks has built up a Twitter following of over 1,400, and got pickup in the New Statesman and Washington Post online versions (links below). And Mick Twister’s alter-ego @Mickhodgkin was named in the Observer’s Top Twitter Feeds You Need to Follow by David Shrigley, who wrote: “He invents limericks on politics, which I think is quite admirable”. (That’s my secret identity well and truly blown!)

So I think the limerick is in good health, and I hope Edward Lear would have appreciated our Twitter efforts – though they’re fairly different from his nonsense rhymes.

Here’s the tribute I wrote for him a year ago:

There was an old man name of Lear

We remember this day every year

If he’d had Twitter then

He’d’ve put down the pen

And written a limerick here.

And here are two of the last year’s twitmericks that borrowed his original opening line (in the second case, the first two lines), followed by Lear’s own verses:

There was an old man with a beard

Who said it is just as I feared

The ethical schism

In Anglicanism

Has grown – time that I disappeared!

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!’

——————————–

There was an old man from the Nile

Of odious crocodile smile

But as every dictator

Should sooner or later

Mubarak is now standing trial.

There was an Old Man of the Nile,
Who sharpened his nails with a file;
Till he cut off his thumbs,
And said calmly, “This comes–
Of sharpening one’s nails with a file!”

Oh, and having completed a year, I don’t intend to stop yet. It’s much too much fun, and too addictive.

http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/the-staggers/2011/12/odious-crocodile-smile-later

http://www.washingtonpost.com/conversations/the-news-in-limericks-see-ya-later-ex-dictator/2012/01/06/gIQAGrmHfP_gallery.html#photo=1

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/may/06/twitter-top-feeds-celebrity-tweeters?CMP=twt_gu

There is an old torch in Olympia/

Kind of a firebrand but wimpier/

Its beautiful flames/

Lit Ancient Greek games/

With costumes decidedly skimpier.

//

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18002760

A typical Ancient Greek costume:

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?start=120&hl=en&safe=off&biw=1366&bih=677&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=JiBbcrZHgM5K2M:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishmuseum.org/learning/schools_and_teachers/resources/all_resources-1/resource_olympic_games.aspx&docid=8Dq15pulHmXBHM&imgurl=http://www.britishmuseum.org/images/olympic-athlete.jpg&w=304&h=300&ei=qLirT9CPJ4nW0QWggYGtDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=554&vpy=89&dur=2242&hovh=223&hovw=226&tx=122&ty=107&sig=101648939215942436088&page=6&tbnh=150&tbnw=167&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:120,i:77