Tag Archives: australia

No Sex Please, We’re Australian

Posted on February 16, 2018 by twitmericks

The sex life of one politician/ Provoked a restrictive condition/ On pols in Australia/ And their genitalia/ That bans staff-related coition./// https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/feb/15/australia-bans-ministers-having-sex-with-staff-barnaby-joyce-malcolm-turnbull The sex life of one politicianProvoked a restrictive conditionOn pols in AustraliaAnd their genitalia:No staff-related coition.#BarnabyJoyce #Turnbull #Australia … Continue reading →

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Gin Sling

Posted on December 9, 2017 by twitmericks

While holding a drink, young Ben Duckett/ Unwisely decided to chuckett/ He said though I should/ Take care and be good/ I’ve had a few pints now, so Fuckett./// https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/dec/09/england-ben-duckett-dropped-ashes-tour-game-after-perth-bar-incident While holding a drink, young Ben DuckettUnwisely decided to chuckettHe … Continue reading →

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Oz Mandate (or Womandate)

Posted on November 15, 2017 by twitmericks

Australia’s now had its say/ From Darwin to Botany Bay/ From Perth to Gold Coast/ A ballot by post/ Backed marriage for pairs who are gay./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-41992344 Australia's now had its sayFrom Darwin to Botany BayFrom Perth to Gold CoastA … Continue reading →

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Avocado Desperado

Posted on August 25, 2017 by twitmericks

An Adelaide-based desperado,/ Displaying impressive bravado,/ Refused to confess/ When found to possess/ Consignments of nicked avocado./// http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-08-25/fruitful-police-search-might-have-smashed-avocado-related-crime/8842898 An Adelaide-based desperado,Displaying impressive bravado,Refused to confessWhen found to possessConsignments of nicked avocado. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August 25, 2017

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Trump Gets Hump

Posted on February 2, 2017 by twitmericks

An old man who grabs genitalia/ Hung up on a chap from Australia,/ For President Trump/ It seems got the hump,/ Declaring their convo a failure./// https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/feb/02/australia-struggling-to-save-refugee-agreement-after-trumps-fury-at-dumb-deal OK, the genitalia reference is gratuitous, but it seems a waste to rhyme … Continue reading →

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Once Bitten, Twice Bitten

Posted on September 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A very unfortunate man/ Got spider-bites twice on the can/ Both times on his cock/ Which though quite a shock/ Was clearly no flash in the pan./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251 A very unfortunate manGot spider-bites twice on the canBoth times on his … Continue reading →

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Bum Rap

Posted on September 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A new law in Melbourne, Australia/ Bans mooning and bare genitalia/ Forbidding the streak/ And flash of bum-cheek/ Or similar paraphernalia./// http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/courts-law/mooning-ban-you-could-have-people-doing-it-everyday-with-no-sanction-victoria-attorney-general-says/news-story/51f364aa16962e9225e1e1b93bc0fa49 A new law in Melbourne, AustraliaBans mooning and bare genitaliaForbidding the streakAnd flash of bum-cheekOr similar paraphernalia. — … Continue reading →

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Ocker Knocker-socker

Posted on May 31, 2016 by twitmericks

A violent kangaroo hit/ A poor woman right in the tit/ But being well curved/ Her chest was preserved/ By silicon implants, which split./// http://www.smh.com.au/national/womans-breast-implants-ruptured-in-kangaroo-attack-in-south-australia-20160531-gp8gx3.html A violent #kangaroo hitA poor woman right in the titBut being well curvedHer chest was preservedBy … Continue reading →

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War on Terrier

Posted on April 18, 2016 by twitmericks

An actress admits she told porkies/ Illegally smuggling Yorkies./ Expressing regrets/ For hiding her pets/ Ms Heard was allowed to go walkies./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36052243 An actress admits she told porkiesIllegally smuggling Yorkies.Expressing regretsFor hiding her petsMs Heard was allowed to go … Continue reading →

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Bra-smugglers lifted

Posted on February 15, 2016 by twitmericks

This story’s a bit of a must:/ Australian cops were nonplussed/ At bras they found padded/ With liquid meth added/ In what was a sizeable bust./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35576136 This story's a bit of a must:Australian cops were nonplussedAt bras they found … Continue reading →

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