Tag Archives: masturbation

Beat the Meatles*

Posted on September 13, 2018 by twitmericks

The Beatles were birds of a feather,/ And long before Linda or Heather,/ With help from their friends,/ McCartney contends/ That he and John did Come Together.//// *Headline shamelessly nicked from the New York Post, of all places. The Beatles … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Privates Tossed Out

Posted on August 23, 2017 by twitmericks

The PLA’s saying no thanks/ To would-be recruits to its ranks;/ They’re fat, it explains,/ With spermatic veins/ Enlarged after too many wanks./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests-a3617881.html The PLA's saying no thanksTo would-be recruits to its ranks;They're fat, it explains,With spermatic veinsEnlarged after … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Hacker Pulls it Off

Posted on July 14, 2017 by twitmericks

A pirate in Mansfield caused rancour/ By blocking a radio anchor/ To play Ivor Biggun/ Whose song about friggin’/ Repeats the refrain: ‘I’m a wanker’./// https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/jul/11/local-radio-station-mansfield-hijacked-masturbation-winkers-song A pirate in Mansfield caused rancourBy blocking a radio anchorTo play Ivor BiggunWhose song … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Pub Rub-a-Dub

Posted on October 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A coke-addled fellow in Lancs/ Engaging in marathon wanks/ Was held by police/ For breach of the peace/ As pubs aren’t the place for such pranks./// http://m.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/13778453.Blackburn_man_caught_pleasuring_himself_for_40_minutes_in_pub_beer_garden_after_snorting_five_lines_of_cocaine/?ref=mr&lp=2 A coke-addled fellow in LancsEngaging in marathon wanksWas held by policeFor breach of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Pope Spurns Those Who Help Themselves

Posted on June 5, 2012 by twitmericks

A nun who endorsed masturbation/ Came in for the Pope’s condemnation/ His teaching rejects/ DIY or gay sex/ As it doesn’t effect procreation. /// http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jun/04/vatican-nun-sexual-ethics-book

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment