Tag Archives: sex

Illegal Stimulant

Posted on March 14, 2017 by twitmericks

An app for remote stimulation/ Tracked customer rates of vibration/ But maker We-Vibe/ Found statutes proscribe/ Such dildo-amassed information./// https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/mar/14/we-vibe-vibrator-tracking-users-sexual-habits An app for remote stimulationTracked customer rates of vibrationBut maker We-VibeFound statutes proscribeSuch dildo-amassed information. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) March … Continue reading →

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Twisted Sexuality

Posted on October 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A poor horny snail whose shell/ Makes intercourse absolute hell/ Requires a date/ In order to mate/ Who coils anticlockwise as well./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37722975 A poor horny snail whose shellMakes intercourse absolute hellRequires a dateIn order to mateWho coils anticlockwise as … Continue reading →

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Father’s Fondant Fancies

Posted on October 6, 2015 by twitmericks

A fetishist priest had to beat it/ Because (though I hardly dare tweet it)/ Erotic confection/ Was his predilection/ He’d have his cake rather than eat it./// http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3259947/Top-Orthodox-priest-27-resigns-kinky-sex-tapes-parochial-school-principal-45-sitting-cakes-underwear-rubbing-feet-face-surfaces.html A fetishist priest had to beat itBecause, if I even dare tweet … Continue reading →

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Lord of Misrule

Posted on July 28, 2015 by twitmericks

An old orange bra-wearing Lord/ Had fun as he snorted and whored/ But public life’s cruel/ And so Baron Sewel/ Must publicly fall on his sword./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33685519 An old orange bra-wearing LordHad fun as he snorted and whoredBut public life's … Continue reading →

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The Long and Short of It

Posted on March 3, 2015 by twitmericks

Research shows the average dong/ Is 5.16 inches long/ When fully erect -/ They had to be checked/ As estimates sometimes prove wrong./// http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/03/the-results-are-in-study-reveals-average-penis-size Research shows the average dongIs 5.16 inches longWhen fully erect –They had to be checkedAs estimates … Continue reading →

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Double-barrelled

Posted on January 7, 2015 by twitmericks

A man with two willies declared I fear many women are scared The pleasure is double And rather less trouble With one correspondingly paired http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/30684471 A man with two willies declaredI fear many women are scaredThe pleasure is doubleAnd rather … Continue reading →

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2014 In Review 3: Weird Science

Posted on December 28, 2014 by twitmericks

So what did we learn about the world in 2014? We learned that a comet can be caught, Richard III was a bastard, and neanderthals invented the paleo diet. We also learnt that… Fish, such as dace do it, Even … Continue reading →

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