Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Thongs of Mourning

Posted on April 25, 2015 by twitmericks

The government of the Chinese/ Prohibited mourning striptease./ No man should be stiff/ At funerals if/ He’s not the deceased person, please./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-32448416 The government of the ChineseProhibited mourning striptease.No man should be stiffAt funerals ifHe's not the deceased person, … Continue reading →

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Mayor’s ‘mare

Posted on April 24, 2015 by twitmericks

A prominent fellow named Lutfur/ Declared I’d have got away but for/ Those meddling kids/ Exposing my bids/ To govern whom crosses were put for./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/23/tower-hamlets-mayor-lutfur-rahman-found-guilty-of-electoral A prominent fellow named LutfurDeclared I'd have got away but forThose meddling kidsExposing my … Continue reading →

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Drover to Driver

Posted on April 23, 2015 by twitmericks

Police find it tricky to deal/ With dogs who have taken the wheel./ A motorway Rover/ Is hard to pull over -/ You can’t call a tractor to heel./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32411621 Police find it tricky to dealWith dogs who have taken … Continue reading →

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Execute Command

Posted on April 22, 2015 by twitmericks

A chap was arrested for shooting/ A PC that wasn’t rebooting/ Though few go ballistic/ It’s characteristic/ Of how we all feel when computing./// http://gazette.com/man-kills-computer-in-colorado-springs-alley-gets-revenge-he-wanted-and-a-citation/article/1550042 A chap was arrested for shootingA PC that wasn't rebootingThough few go ballisticIt's characteristicOf how … Continue reading →

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Tugger Bugger

Posted on April 22, 2015 by twitmericks

New Zealand Prime Minister Key/ Has heeded a waitress’s plea/ That ponytail-tugging/ Is terribly bugging/ And weird – something most of us see./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/22/new-zealand-prime-minister-john-key-apologises-for-pulling-waitresss-hair New Zealand Prime Minister KeyHas heeded a waitress's pleaThat ponytail-tuggingIs terribly buggingAnd weird – something most … Continue reading →

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Sturgeon Goes Fishing

Posted on April 17, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a fellow named Ed/ Who went on the telly and said/ In spite of the urgin’/ Of Nicola Sturgeon/ He’s not gonna jump into bed./// There once was a fellow named EdWho went on the telly and … Continue reading →

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Leicester Molester

Posted on April 16, 2015 by twitmericks

An MP who served Leicester West/ Sought children, it’s said, to molest/ But due to dementia/ The former backbencher/ Can keep on avoiding arrest./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32329924 An MP who served Leicester WestSought children, it's said, to molestBut due to dementiaThe former … Continue reading →

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R.I.P. Percy

Posted on April 15, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a soul man who shone/ So brightly but now he is gone/ Adieu Percy Sledge/ You absolute ledge/ When a Man Loves a Woman lives on./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32301435 There once was a soul man who shoneSo brightly but … Continue reading →

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School of Hard Nox

Posted on April 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A footballer known as Raheem,/ A star of the Liverpool team,/ Inhaled nitrous oxide;/ “This isn’t”, his doc sighed/ “A normal athletic regime”./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/apr/13/raheem-sterling-liverpool-nitrous-oxide-video A footballer known as Raheem,A star of the Liverpool team,Inhaled nitrous oxide;"This isn't", his doc sighed"A … Continue reading →

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Staying One Movement Ahead

Posted on April 13, 2015 by twitmericks

A Georgian chess-playing chap/ Was kicked out for using an app/ That helped him improve/ His next killer move/ Whenever he went for a crap./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/chess/11531055/Grandmaster-makes-bad-move-after-being-caught-cheating-at-chess-in-a-lavatory.html A Georgian chess-playing chapWas kicked out for using an appThat helped him improveHis next … Continue reading →

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