Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Present Imperfect

Posted on May 20, 2014 by twitmericks

The champions suffered a rift/ With birthday boy Toure quite miffed/ He said “It is shitty/ Of Manchester City:/ The club didn’t buy me a gift!” ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27484318 The champions suffered a riftWith birthday boy Toure quite miffedHe said "It is … Continue reading →

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Romania Mania

Posted on May 19, 2014 by twitmericks

There is an old fellow named Farage/ Whose anti-Romanian barrage/ Reflects a deep fear/ That foreigners here/ Are all out to squat in his garage. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27474099 A note on pronunciation:  I have previously rhymed Farage with ‘disparage’ and with ‘large’. … Continue reading →

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A Plague on All Our Houses

Posted on May 18, 2014 by twitmericks

Mark Carney says Britain’s in trouble/ Because of its property bubble/ Untenable prices/ Provoking a crisis/ Unless we build more at the double. ///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/may/18/mark-carney-house-prices-risk-economy-bank-of-england Mark Carney says Britain's in troubleBecause of its property bubbleUntenable pricesProvoking a crisisUnless we build more … Continue reading →

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Email Trouble

Posted on May 18, 2014 by twitmericks

A prominent football exec// Awaits a redundancy cheque/ Because of his emails/ Disparaging females His goal now is saving his neck. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27453146

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Winning a la Modi

Posted on May 16, 2014 by twitmericks

Results show the winning contender a/ BJP chap named Narendra/ Though experts expected/ He would be elected/ The margin predicted was slenderer. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-27439456 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/467326876806291456

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Arousing Reception

Posted on May 15, 2014 by twitmericks

A teen not considered demure,/Allegedly dressed to allure,/Went down like a bomb -/Sent home from her prom/That male thoughts might not get impure. ///http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/va-teen-booted-prom-chaperones-ogled-article-1.1791459 A teen not considered demureAllegedly dressed to allureWent down like a bombSent home from her promSo … Continue reading →

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Solange, It’s Been Good to Know You

Posted on May 13, 2014 by twitmericks

Beyonce’s more junior sister/Got into a fight with her mister/She went a bit crazy/And laid into Jay-Z/Who musta said something that pister. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/what-jay-z-really-said-to-solange-according-to-the-internet-9361169.html Beyonce's more junior sisterGot into a fight with her misterShe went a bit crazyAnd laid into Jay-ZWho … Continue reading →

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For Good!

Posted on May 12, 2014 by twitmericks

A boy band whose profits were fat/Have caused a political spat/Whatever you did/To save a few quid/We want your back taxes – Take That! /// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27364089 A boy band whose profits were fatHave caused a political spatWhatever you didTo save … Continue reading →

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Courting Trouble

Posted on May 11, 2014 by twitmericks

A dating show entrant in Turkey/ Admitted his past was quite murky -/ He’d taken the lives/ Of two former wives/ (As chat-up lines go, that was quirky). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27349394 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/465535793063546881  

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Wurst is Best

Posted on May 11, 2014 by twitmericks

Conchita, a queen with a beard/ Performed as a continent cheered/ The Austrian Wurst/ Was voted in first/ (Exactly what Vladimir feared). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27358560 Conchita, a queen with a beardPerformed as a continent cheeredThe Austrian WurstWas voted in first(Exactly what Vladimir … Continue reading →

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