Category Archives: Uncategorized

Brevity is the Soul of Twit-

Posted on September 27, 2017 by twitmericks

The character limit on Twitter/ Restricts how long users can witter/ Increasing the length/ May not be a strength/ And may see it go down the sh-/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41408798 The character limit on TwitterRestricts how long users can witterIncreasing the lengthMay … Continue reading →

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The Golden Behind

Posted on September 26, 2017 by twitmericks

  Police caught a smuggler so bold/ Whose arse hid a kilo of gold/ Asked why such a sum/ Was stuffed up his bum/ He answered that’s all it’ll hold./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41383100 Police found a smuggler so boldWhose arse hid a … Continue reading →

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Angela the Wrangler

Posted on September 25, 2017 by twitmericks

The woman in charge in Berlin/ Secured an electoral win/ But Angela Merkel/ Must widen her circle/ And bring some new bedfellows in./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/24/angela-merkel-faces-stark-choice-between-coalition-or-minority-rule The woman in charge in BerlinSecured an electoral winBut Angela MerkelMust widen her circleAnd bring some … Continue reading →

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Red Rag to a Hashtag

Posted on September 24, 2017 by twitmericks

The audience watched on TV/ The President’s Twitter decree/ To Stand for the Flag/ Become a red rag/ And NFL stars #TakeTheKnee./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/other-sports/american-sports/nfl-players-kneel-en-masse-11229152 The audience watched on TVThe President's Twitter decreeTo Stand for the FlagBecome a red ragAnd NFL stars … Continue reading →

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Keep off the Grass!

Posted on September 24, 2017 by twitmericks

Four stoners out climbing a fell/ Gave Cumbrian coppers a bell/ And said please come by -/ We all got so high/ We can’t seem to walk very well!/// http://www.nwemail.co.uk/news/barrow/Police-and-mountain-rescue-teams-called-to-help-walkers-stuck-on-Scafell-after-taking-cannabis-12bd7a19-9f16-40c1-952c-941ac57da00e-ds Four stoners out climbing a fellGave Cumbrian coppers a bellAnd … Continue reading →

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Pissed Off

Posted on September 23, 2017 by twitmericks

A Dutch woman fined by a court/ Who pubicly peed when caught short/ Said men have pissoirs/ So where then are oirs?/ A posture that’s gaining support./// http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2017/09/amsterdam-pee-in-public-protest-cancelled-too-many-women-want-to-attend/ A Dutch woman fined by a courtWho pubicly peed when caught shortSaid … Continue reading →

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Look Back in UNGA

Posted on September 23, 2017 by twitmericks

I’m updating things having been away for a few days – so here are a couple of limericks covering Trump and Kim Jong-Un’s UN speeches. The POTUS set out where he stands/ On despots from faraway lands/ By using his … Continue reading →

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No go Bojo

Posted on September 17, 2017 by twitmericks

A senior Brit statistician/ Rebuked a UK politician/ Whose lie about Brexit/ Falls down when one checks it/ But furthers his own blond ambition./// A senior Brit statisticianRebuked a UK politicianWhose lie about BrexitFalls down when one checks itBut furthers … Continue reading →

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Hair’s Breadth Decision

Posted on September 14, 2017 by twitmericks

A drug profiteer forfeits bail And now has to go back to jail For his diabolical Hillary follicle Seizure attempt epic fail. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-crime-shkreli/shkreli-ordered-jailed-after-online-bounty-on-hillary-clintons-hair-idUSKCN1BO2T8 A drug profiteer forfeits bailAnd now has to go back to jailFor his diabolicalHillary follicleSeizure attempt epic … Continue reading →

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Cruz Abuse

Posted on September 12, 2017 by twitmericks

Ted Cruz has been utterly panned/ For taking a moralist stand/ Then liking some porn/ But Cruz has now sworn/ He’s taking the matter in hand./// http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/ted-cruz-staffing-issue-led-to-porn-tweet-liked-by-account-w502493 Ted Cruz has been utterly pannedFor taking a moralist standThen liking some porn,But … Continue reading →

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