A Brush with Comey

Posted on November 7, 2016 by twitmericks

America’s senior Fed/
Has lost quite a lot of his cred./
By putting a sprint on/
He’s now absolved Clinton/
But left many voters misled.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37892138

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Long Worm’s Short Life

Posted on November 4, 2016 by twitmericks

Top annelid experts confirm/

That Dave the Widnesian worm/

Achieved record size./

By way of a prize/

They shortened poor Dave’s earthly term.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-37861928

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Emergency Brexit Blocked

Posted on November 3, 2016 by twitmericks

A court ruled Prime Minister May/
Must wait before breaking away./
No triggering Brexit/
Till parliament checks it/
And MPs have all had a say.////

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37857785

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Boom to Bust

Posted on November 2, 2016 by twitmericks

The fashion for décolleté/
Say experts, has now had its dé/
So women with breasts/
Must cover their chests/
As Vogue thinks their cleavage passé.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/vogue-says-cleavage-over-bust-elizabeth-saltzman-a7392786.html

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Shaggy Dog Tory

Posted on November 2, 2016 by twitmericks

In Heseltine’s clarification/

Regarding a long-dead alsatian,/

The Tory big beast/

Insists the deceased/

Was not killed by his strangulation.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/nov/01/michael-heseltine-confesses-strangling-mothers-dog-to-death-kim-alsatian

 

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Pilot Taken in Hand

Posted on November 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A pilot who flew in the nude/

Was grounded for actions most lewd/

He came in to land/

With joystick in hand/

To find his career was now screwed.///

Graphic images ‘show British Airways pilot performing sex act on himself while flying’

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Halloween Trumpkin

Posted on October 31, 2016 by twitmericks

Ghosts, witches & things that go bump/

Alarm us & make our hearts thump/

But nothing I’ve seen/

Around Halloween/

Is scary as ‘President Trump’.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37817240

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Thumbs Down

Posted on October 30, 2016 by twitmericks

A thumb on a statue of Venus/

Broke off in a manner most heinous./

Oh well, said the waiter/

I’ll fix it on later -/

Must tidy around Mars’s penis.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37786103

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Motorist Boobs

Posted on October 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A woman put under arrest/

For driving while semi-undressed/

Rear-ended a cop/

While baring her top/

To snapchat a pic of her breast.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-37795008

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Withering on the Vine

Posted on October 28, 2016 by twitmericks

The video app known as Vine/

Has come to the end of the line/

At Twitter they say/

Old clips will still play,/

It’s in for a managed decline.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-37788052

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