Byelection Bye

Posted on October 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A backbencher gave up his seat/

And stood for his party’s defeat,/

A bold Zac attack/

Set back by a lack/

Of Tory contender to beat.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-zac-goldsmith-heathrow-by-election-a7380126.html

 

 

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What the Duck?

Posted on October 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A woman who flew with a duck/

Said when I was down on my luck/

My help was this bird;/

If that sounds absurd/

Well frankly, I don’t give a damn.///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/10/17/adorable-emotional-support-duck-is-a-hit-on-us-flight/

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Twisted Sexuality

Posted on October 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A poor horny snail whose shell/
Makes intercourse absolute hell/
Requires a date/
In order to mate/
Who coils anticlockwise as well.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37722975

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Ape Fruit Juice

Posted on October 20, 2016 by twitmericks

His keepers insist a gorilla/
Involved in a zoo escape thrilla/
Was simply awash/
With blackcurrant squash/
(Just don’t let him try sarsparilla).///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37710435

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Open Season on Treason

Posted on October 18, 2016 by twitmericks

A Tory got up a petition/

To make backing Brussels sedition/

And punish as traitors/

Remain advocators/

In front of the Grand Inquisition.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/oct/17/call-to-keep-uk-in-eu-should-be-treason-urges-tory-councillors-petition

 

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Woolfe Throws in the Towel

Posted on October 17, 2016 by twitmericks

A Kipper named Woolfe who got hit/
Declared his intention to quit/
The reason that Steven/
Has given for leavin’/
Is #UKIP is rotten and shit.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37682828

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Boris Has Cake and Eats it

Posted on October 16, 2016 by twitmericks

A mop-headed minister who/

Campaigned for a pro-Brexit view/

Had days before written/

A piece saying Britain/

Was better off in the EU.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37670091

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Buhari Boo-boo

Posted on October 15, 2016 by twitmericks

Nigeria’s President’s wife/
Said dodgy appointments were rife/
Buhari got bitchin’/
“Get back in the kitchen”
Which may produce marital strife.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-37659863

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Gorilla Thrilla

Posted on October 14, 2016 by twitmericks

Kumbuka the captive gorilla/
Did not like his London Zoo villa/
The silverback ape/
Set out to escape/
But staff threw him back in the chiller.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37652212

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How Many Words Must a Man Write Down?

Posted on October 14, 2016 by twitmericks

Lit critics may see something strange in/
A Nobel award so wide-rangin’/
The panel bestow it/
On Dylan the poet/
But the times they are a-changin’.///

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/oct/13/bob-dylan-wins-2016-nobel-prize-in-literature

 

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