White (Supremacist) House

Posted on November 18, 2016 by twitmericks

The Donald’s appointment of Sessions/

Enforces initial impressions/

That being a racist/

Is now the main basis/

For cabinet level progressions.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/18/jeff-sessions-attorney-general-trump-cabinet

 

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Prosecco Diplomacy

Posted on November 17, 2016 by twitmericks

This – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37995606 – was a story with two parts, but I couldn’t fit Boris Johnson’s sally and the Italian minister Carlo Calenda’s response into one limerick, so I just went with the former.

 

But then, rather marvellously, @pseudomonas made up for the deficit with a finely crafted account of Calenda’s riposte. Both limericks follow:

https://twitter.com/pseudomonas/status/799296039304003584

The only thing still missing  was Calenda’s killer blow: “The difference is I’m going to lose [exports] to one country, you to 27.”

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Book News

Posted on November 16, 2016 by twitmericks

 

AND available for pre-order!

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Taking the Mickey

Posted on November 15, 2016 by twitmericks

A shopper is seeking redress/

From Zara for pain and distress./

The cause of her grouse:/

A fossilised mouse/

Sewn into the hem of her dress.///

OK, I know in these extreme times there are more important things to limerick about – but I can’t do Trump every day. So here’s something completely different. Though you do want to say – “She was upset? H0w do you think the poor mouse felt?”

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/zara-dress-dead-mouse-woman-sues-shop-rodent-sewn-into-clothes-a7418216.html

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Bannon Headlines

Posted on November 15, 2016 by twitmericks

The senior posting for Bannon,/

A maverick far-right loose cannon,/

Leads many to dread/

Trump may go ahead/

With some of the mad shit he ran on.///

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Rubbing Along

Posted on November 13, 2016 by twitmericks

The MEP Nigel Farage/

Paid court to the new grand fromage,/

Presenting to Trump/

His pale English rump/

For transcontinental frottage.///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/13/exclusive-nigel-farage-reveals-donald-trumps-team-has-reservatio/

 

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RIP Leonard

Posted on November 11, 2016 by twitmericks

So long now, it’s good people knewya,/

Got lyrics and poetry thruya/

From bird on a wire/

To drunk in a choir/

We’ll sing you a last Hallelujah.///

It’s not easy to do poetic justice to someone like Leonard Cohen in a limerick – even when he’s written all the best rhymes for you. But I had to give it a go.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/leonard-cohen-dead-at-82-w449792

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Hue and Cry

Posted on November 11, 2016 by twitmericks

The Donald met up with Barack/

To put the transition on track/

Debate was wide-ranging/

But everything’s changing/

And orange is now the new black.///

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/11/10/politics/donald-trump-obama-paul-ryan-washington/

 

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Trump Grasps Power

Posted on November 9, 2016 by twitmericks

 

There was an old billionaire,/

A groper with bright yellow hair,/

Whom millions of voters/

Elected as POTUS,/

Engendering global despair.///

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Chocs Away

Posted on November 8, 2016 by twitmericks

The maker of Toblerone chocs,/
Of famous triangular box,/
Has caused global schism/
By keeping the prism/
But shrinking the size of the blocks.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37904703

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