War on Terrier

Posted on April 18, 2016 by twitmericks

An actress admits she told porkies/
Illegally smuggling Yorkies./
Expressing regrets/
For hiding her pets/
Ms Heard was allowed to go walkies.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36052243

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Less of the Sauce Please

Posted on April 15, 2016 by twitmericks

The food manufacturer Mars/

Once said of its chocolate bars/

A Mars bar a day/

Helps you work rest and play/

(It’s not so for pasta sauce jars).///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36051333

 

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Dogs Turn Up Noses at Drugs

Posted on April 14, 2016 by twitmericks

In Manchester, dogs trained to sniff/

For contraband cocaine and spliff/

Were able to find/

Some old bacon rind/

And camembert starting to whiff.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36041316

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Enjoying a Backlash

Posted on April 13, 2016 by twitmericks

John Whittingdale’s getting some gyp/
He says it’s only a blip/
Not a big story/
Just one more Tory/
Eager to follow the whip.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-36031743

 

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Dennis the Menace

Posted on April 12, 2016 by twitmericks

There was an old Labour MP/

Suspended for bold repartee/

For they must behave,/

Not say /

However much people agree.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-36017171

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Identity Crisis

Posted on April 10, 2016 by twitmericks

Two twin pairs of husband and wife/
Intend to go under the knife/
As taking one brother/
Or sis for the other/
Is leading to marital strife.///

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/peoplesdaily/article-3529689/Identical-twin-sisters-identical-twin-husbands-undergo-plastic-surgery-t-tell-married-whom.html

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Siggy Played For Time

Posted on April 6, 2016 by twitmericks

In Iceland a PM who tried/
To use offshore bodies to hide/
The big stash of cash/
He kept through the crash/
Was rumbled, and so stepped aside.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/iceland-prime-minister-says-he-is-not-resigning-over-panama-papers-scandal-just-stepping-aside-for-a6970601.html

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Family Fortunes

Posted on April 5, 2016 by twitmericks

A tax-dodging fund named Blairmore/

Hides all of its money offshore./

The son of the founder/

Is now a propounder/

Of benefit cuts for the poor.///

http://www.theguardian.com/news/2016/apr/04/panama-papers-david-cameron-father-tax-bahamas

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A Man, a pot – to Panama!

Posted on April 4, 2016 by twitmericks

Some leaked Panamanian files/

Expose one or two of the wiles/

And ruses by which/

The terribly rich/

Avoid paying tax on their piles.///

http://www.theguardian.com/news/2016/apr/03/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-panama-papers

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Tata For Now

Posted on April 3, 2016 by twitmericks

The government made an appeal/

For buyers to save Tata Steel:/

“We won’t intervene/

As that’s not our scene-

Can’t somebody else find a deal?”///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35952868

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