Benefits Acres

Posted on March 31, 2016 by twitmericks

A top Eurosceptic named Dacre/

The Daily Mail mover and shaker/

Is given a hand/

To care for his land/

By Brussels, which pays by the acre.///

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/paul-dacre-langwell-estate#.ctkQYma3

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Love Bomb

Posted on March 29, 2016 by twitmericks

A fellow who hijacked a plane/

Said sorry for being a pain -/

My ex won’t reply/

I need you to fly/

To Cyprus, so I can explain.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-35915139

 

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Bot Spanked

Posted on March 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A Microsoft chatbot named Tay/
Went fascist in only a day/
Unscrupulous teens/
Used devious means/
To lead the poor programme astray.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-35902104

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Doc in the Dock

Posted on March 24, 2016 by twitmericks

The boss of the Bosnian Serbs/

Was arrested one day in the ‘burbs,/

Pretending he wasnae a/

Butcher of Bosnia/

Rather a healer with herbs.///

One from the book here, which was actually well within the 140-character limit even though it didn’t have to be. It relies on the Scots form wasnae for wan’t, but have you ever tried to find a rhyme for Bosnia?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-35893804

 

 

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Unforced Error

Posted on March 22, 2016 by twitmericks

A tennis official named Moore/

Admitted his phrasing was poor./

He riled women when/

He said to thank men/

Each night as you kneel on the floor.///

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/mar/22/indian-wells-ceo-raymond-moore-steps-down-amid-outrage-over-tennis-sexism-row

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Happy Twanniversary

Posted on March 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A happy 10th birthday to Twitter/

From startup to online big hitter/

In passion or levity/

Always with brevity/

Top micromessage transmitter.///

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/mar/21/12-ways-twitter-changed-our-lives-10th-birthday

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The IDS of March

Posted on March 19, 2016 by twitmericks

A minister named IDS/
Left Cameron’s team in a mess./
He’s quit in disgust/
At cuts so unjust/
That even he can’t acquiesce.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-35848687

 

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Revenue is Sweet

Posted on March 16, 2016 by twitmericks

George Osborne is raising a levy/

To target the sugary bevvy./

The government thinks/

A tax on soft drinks/

Will stop us from getting too heavy.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-35813973

 

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Vintage Ford

Posted on March 16, 2016 by twitmericks

All-action adventurer Harrison/

Could easily fight a whole garrison/

But now Mr Jones/

Is rather old bones/

How will he stand up to comparison?///

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/mar/15/harrison-ford-back-as-indiana-jones-for-fifth-film-directed-by-steven-spielberg

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Rafa the Gafa

Posted on March 12, 2016 by twitmericks

A footballing coach from Madrid/
Is going to earn a few quid/
As Newcastle’s gaffer -/
Three million if Rafa/
Can rescue a team that has slid.///

http://www.goal.com/en-ie/news/3908/main/2016/03/12/21239582/rumours-rafa-will-earn-3m-bonus-if-he-keeps-newcastle-up

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