What a Whopper!

Posted on March 11, 2016 by twitmericks

We heard of a ginormous rat/

The size of a dog or a cat./

Then came the corrective:/

It’s just forced perspective/

The rat’s not as big as all that.///

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/mar/11/fake-giant-rat-picture-internet?CMP=twt_gu

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Apoplectic Eurosceptic?

Posted on March 9, 2016 by twitmericks

There was an old monarch who said/
“Sun readers are being misled/
Gove says I back Brexit/
But nobody chexit?/
That editor – Orf with his head!”///

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/mar/09/palace-sun-queen-backs-brexit-ipso

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Hello, Goodbye

Posted on March 9, 2016 by twitmericks

Farewell to 5th Beatle George Martin/
At 90 now sadly departin/
He wrote a mean score/
And signed the Fab Four/
Whose story he had a big part in.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35761464

 

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Twitmericks and Twitter

Posted on March 5, 2016 by twitmericks

View at Medium.com

Just wanted to post a link to  this article on Medium.com by Karen Wickre.

Saying goodbye to Twitter after working there as an editor for 4 1/2 years, she reflects on “how its constraints fuel wholly original uses”, with an honourable mention for @twitmericks as one such. Quite true, which is why I hope they don’t bugger about too much with the format.

This also makes me realise I’ve been limericking the news for almost 5 years now – I only ever meant to keep it up for a year!

Mick

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A Massive Dick

Posted on March 4, 2016 by twitmericks

Said Donald “I thank my creator/

That nobody’s penis is greater/

Lil’ Marco is wrong/

I’ve got a huge schlong”/

Asserted the great mass debater.///

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/03/donald-trump-assures-americans-his-penis-is-big-enough-to-lead.html

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Mitt Throws Punch

Posted on March 3, 2016 by twitmericks

A former contender named Mitt/
Condemns Donald Trump as unfit:/
A fraud and a phony/
Who peddles baloney,/
Dishonest, mysogynist shit.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-35717888

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Party Line

Posted on March 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A County Down priest is reported/
Last year to have gaily cavorted/
With Nazi regalia/
In wild bacchanalia/
Where coke was apparently snorted.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-35688401

 

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No-good Criminals

Posted on March 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A criminal gang staged a raid/
That went a bit wrong, I’m afraid/
A priceless Ming bowl/
They broke in and stole/
In all the to-do, got mislaid.///

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/feb/29/chinese-artefacts-fourteen-men-convicted-british-museums-rhino-horn

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How Jim Fixed It

Posted on February 25, 2016 by twitmericks

A DJ on Top of the Pops/
For decades evaded the cops./
Dame Janet unravels/
Abuses of Savile’s,/
Without saying where the buck stops.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/jimmy-savile-report-victims-lawyer-calls-dame-janet-smith-report-on-bbc-an-expensive-whitewash-a6894986.html

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Silly Billy

Posted on February 25, 2016 by twitmericks

A fellow who acted the goat/
Extols, in a book that he wrote,/
A life eating grass/
High up on a pass./
(Whatever, I guess, floats your boat!)///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35652150

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