Brexit Strategy

A party divided on Brexit/
Finds Europe continues to vex it/
As colleagues campaign/
To leave or remain/
While hoping this isn’t what wrecks it.///
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To EU or not to EU

The terms of the June referendum/
Leave Boris a choice to defend ’em/
Despite major qualms/
Or else to take arms/
And so by opposing to end ’em.///
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Going Straight

A popular pastry that curled/

Was eaten all over the world/

Till Tesco said Wait,/

They have to be straight/

And so the croissant was unfurled.///

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/feb/18/tesco-bows-to-customer-demand-in-selling-straight-croissants

 

 

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God Hates Walls

Republican wannabe Trump/

Likes using his faith on the stump/

The Pope says it’s balls/

Because God hates walls/

So now Donald’s taken the hump.///

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/02/18/politics/pope-francis-trump-christian-wall/

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Possession of an Offensive Attitude

A judge known as Beverley Lunt/

Has punished for utter affront/

Two men she’d let off/

Who went on to scoff/

And call the poor woman rude names.///

Now, I was nudged into this one by @callummay, who posted as follows: https://twitter.com/callummay/status/699895698301579264

But plaudits must go to @camusgoalie, who also responded to the challenge with a limerick including a rare usable rhyme for Facebook: 

The mercy of Beverly Lunt/

Was met with offensive affront/

Two twats on her casebook/

Abused her on Facebook/

And may now do time for their stunt.///

 

 

 

 

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Gold Digger

A popular artist named West/
Admits he’s unusually blest/
With wealth in great store,/
But hankers for more -/
Please Zuckerberg, Kanye invest?///
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Bra-smugglers lifted

This story’s a bit of a must:/

Australian cops were nonplussed/

At bras they found padded/

With liquid meth added/

In what was a sizeable bust.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35576136

 

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What’s Up Doc?

Health minister Jeremy Hunt/
Is currently bearing the brunt/
Of doctors’ displeasure/
For his latest measure,/
Regarded as one massive stunt.///
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Making Waves

A LIGO astronomer, Dave/
Said how we see space-time behave/
As black holes connect/
Means we can detect/
The odd gravitational wave.///
I also felt this story made it worth an outing for one from the book (slightly tweaked) on Einstein:
A patent official in Bern/
Found science had plenty to learn/
‘Mein Gott’, he declared/
‘E is mc squared/
And space-time can slow down and turn’///
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Crazy In Lobster Love

Demand for Red Lobster crustaceans/

Has spiked after new revelations/

Re Beyoncé’s menu/

And favourite venue/

For dining, post-sexual relations.///

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2016/02/09/beyonces-formation-helps-boost-sales-at-red-lobster/80055898/

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