Thongs of Mourning

Posted on April 25, 2015 by twitmericks

The government of the Chinese/
Prohibited mourning striptease./
No man should be stiff/
At funerals if/
He’s not the deceased person, please.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-32448416

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Mayor’s ‘mare

Posted on April 24, 2015 by twitmericks

A prominent fellow named Lutfur/
Declared I’d have got away but for/
Those meddling kids/
Exposing my bids/
To govern whom crosses were put for.///
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/23/tower-hamlets-mayor-lutfur-rahman-found-guilty-of-electoral

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Drover to Driver

Posted on April 23, 2015 by twitmericks

Police find it tricky to deal/
With dogs who have taken the wheel./
A motorway Rover/
Is hard to pull over -/
You can’t call a tractor to heel.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32411621

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Execute Command

Posted on April 22, 2015 by twitmericks

A chap was arrested for shooting/
A PC that wasn’t rebooting/
Though few go ballistic/
It’s characteristic/
Of how we all feel when computing.///
http://gazette.com/man-kills-computer-in-colorado-springs-alley-gets-revenge-he-wanted-and-a-citation/article/1550042

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Tugger Bugger

Posted on April 22, 2015 by twitmericks

New Zealand Prime Minister Key/
Has heeded a waitress’s plea/
That ponytail-tugging/
Is terribly bugging/
And weird – something most of us see.///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/22/new-zealand-prime-minister-john-key-apologises-for-pulling-waitresss-hair

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Sturgeon Goes Fishing

Posted on April 17, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a fellow named Ed/
Who went on the telly and said/
In spite of the urgin’/
Of Nicola Sturgeon/
He’s not gonna jump into bed.///

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Leicester Molester

Posted on April 16, 2015 by twitmericks

An MP who served Leicester West/
Sought children, it’s said, to molest/
But due to dementia/
The former backbencher/
Can keep on avoiding arrest.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32329924

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R.I.P. Percy

Posted on April 15, 2015 by twitmericks

There once was a soul man who shone/
So brightly but now he is gone/
Adieu Percy Sledge/
You absolute ledge/
When a Man Loves a Woman lives on.///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32301435

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School of Hard Nox

Posted on April 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A footballer known as Raheem,/
A star of the Liverpool team,/
Inhaled nitrous oxide;/
“This isn’t”, his doc sighed/
“A normal athletic regime”.///
http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/apr/13/raheem-sterling-liverpool-nitrous-oxide-video

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Staying One Movement Ahead

Posted on April 13, 2015 by twitmericks

A Georgian chess-playing chap/
Was kicked out for using an app/
That helped him improve/
His next killer move/
Whenever he went for a crap.///
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/chess/11531055/Grandmaster-makes-bad-move-after-being-caught-cheating-at-chess-in-a-lavatory.html

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