Farage Fightback

Posted on May 4, 2014 by twitmericks
When UKIP was under attack/
Old Nigel prepared to fight back/
We’re clearly not racist/
He said, on the basis/
That some of our people are black///
 
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Max Security Jail

Posted on May 2, 2014 by twitmericks
There was an old fellow named Max/
Who fed celeb stories to hacks/
He spun & he lied/
But now he’s inside/
He’s just good for penis-size cracks.///
 
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Gear Failure

Posted on May 2, 2014 by twitmericks
A chap who presented Top Gear/ 
Said “Now I’ve been rumbled I fear/
But if I sound humble/
Explaining my mumble/
I might just remain in the clear”
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27253880
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Police Process

Posted on May 1, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Belfast/

Whose pals carried out the odd blast/

He then worked for peace/

But now the police/

Are keen to examine his past.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-27233712

 

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RIP Bob Hoskins

Posted on April 30, 2014 by twitmericks

Old Bob was an audience-pleaser/
In Mermaids and Hook, Mona Lisa,/
On film and TV/
We knew him to be/
A regular diamond geezer.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27224995

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Mini Max

Posted on April 28, 2014 by twitmericks
Max Clifford, whose penis is short/
(Or so many sources report)/
Won’t long be at large -/
A sex assault charge/
The one thing that stood up in court.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27192600
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Judicial Murder

Posted on April 28, 2014 by twitmericks
A court on the banks of the Nile/
Put 600 people on trial./
‘Now off with his head’/
The hanging judge said/
In Alice in Wonderland style.
///http://english.ahram.org.eg/News/99979.aspx
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Sterling Racist

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

There was an old man from LA/
Who said to his girlfriend one day/
Don’t hang out with blacks./
Obama attacks – /
Now over to you, NBA.

///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/27/david-sterling-clippers-racist-recording-obama-backlash

 

 

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Pope Idols

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

A couple of Popes became saints/

Who cured folks of fatal complaints/

Providing empirical/

Proof of a miracle/

Wasn’t among the constraints.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27140646

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A Desparate Man

Posted on April 27, 2014 by twitmericks

An Aussie who’d been on the booze/

Mistook a plane’s cockpit for loos/

He paid for his error -/

Suspected of terror/

And plastered all over the news.

///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2613720/Drunk-Australian-passenger-arrested-sparking-hijack-scare-Virgin-plane-Bali-claims-thought-cockpit-door-toilet.html

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