Chronicle of A Death

Posted on April 18, 2014 by twitmericks
There was an old man, Gabriel/ 
To whom we must now say farewell/
His novels live on/
But Marquez is gone/
A death we could sadly foretell.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-27073911
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Taking the Piss

Posted on April 17, 2014 by twitmericks

A reservoir had to be drained/
So Portland officials explained/
When someone passed water/
Where nobody oughta/
(Let’s hope all the fishes refrained).

///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/17/portland-flush-38m-gallons-water-man-urinates-reservoir?commentpage=2https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456848916638867457

 

 

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News of The Screws

Posted on April 16, 2014 by twitmericks

The ex-tabloid editor Andy/

Admitted that when he got randy/

He romped in the sack/

With fellow Screws hack/

Rebekah (his boss, which was handy)

///http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/14/andy-coulson-affair-rebekah-brooks-was-wrong

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Not Fare

Posted on April 14, 2014 by twitmericks
A hedgie commuting by rail/
Whose fare-dodging went off the scale/
Has had to repay/
Some 43K/
But being so rich, avoids jail.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27011497
 
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Fine Young Criminal

Posted on April 12, 2014 by twitmericks
A 9-month old boy from Lahore/
Is not on a rap any more./
Attempting to murder -/
Could this be absurder?/
At least they can wait till he’s 4!
///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/ninemonthold-baby-attempted-murder-charges-thrown-out-by-pakistan-court-9256077.html
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Sue Farewell…

Posted on April 11, 2014 by twitmericks

Sue Townsend is gone, rest her soul/

Who gave us all Adrian Mole./

He wrote the odd poem/

(You probably know ’em)/

On Thatcher & love & the dole.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26982680

 

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Sexual Politics

Posted on April 11, 2014 by twitmericks

Oh pity the weary MP/

Relaxed by the odd G&T/

Attempting to nurture/

The Commons researcher/

By placing a hand on a knee.

///http://www.channel4.com/news/sexual-harassment-culture-in-parliament-exposed-westminster-commons

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Myner Storm

Posted on April 11, 2014 by twitmericks

A fellow named Myners, a Lord,/

Has quit the Co-operative board./

He kicked up a storm/

With plans for reform/

That most Co-op members deplored.

///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/apr/09/lord-myners-quits-co-op-group

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A Problem Called Maria

Posted on April 9, 2014 by twitmericks

A minister known as Maria/

Resigned, saying ‘It is now clear/

I’m just a distraction’/

Though this drastic action/

Was not, I suspect, her idea.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-26951464

///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/453799830696251392

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Terror Error

Posted on April 4, 2014 by twitmericks

A bomber got rather a shock,/

His bomb going off at half-cock./

The master of terror/

Made one basic error:/

He didn’t put forward his clock.///

 http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/republic-of-ireland/dublin-bomber-may-have-blown-himself-up-because-he-forgot-about-clocks-changing-30150589.html

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